As if you had never met me
by PET
Summary: It is the second half of spring semester, junior year. Against all odds, Bella decided to move across the country from Phoenix to Forks. She doesn't know it yet, but this decision will affect the rest of her life.
1. Chapter 1

**This is a HEA. The first chapters are just to have some background, then things will start happening. Enjoy the ride, and please let me know your thoughts.  
**

**Not mine...**

Chapter 1

March 2005

It is the second half of spring semester, junior year. Today I am transferring into a new school. Against all odds, I have decided to move across the country from Phoenix to Forks to live with my dad. I don't know it yet, but this decision will affect the rest of my life. I am sure that today is marked by a big bend in my Life Line on my palm.

I enter my new homeroom. It is kind of early. I was hoping to be alone a few more minutes, but there is already someone siting reading from a book. He raises his eyes and looks at me in surprise. I feel like I have to say something "Hello, my name is Bella, I am a new student."

He looks at me in silence for a moment, studying me. I do the same. He has coppery messy hair and the most beautiful green eyes I have ever seen. The whole package is very handsome. Once he has finished ogling me, he replies "My name is Edward Cullen. I am the class president. Mrs. Cope asked me to be here early today waiting for you. She has charged me with helping you as you need until you know the school. Welcome Bella, I hope you will be happy here. Mrs. Cope also gave me your schedule. I can already tell you that we are together in every class. That was kind of a surprise, no one else in this school, aside from me, is taking such a full load of AP courses. Come, you can sit next to me."

I am not sure what to say, so I simply do as he says. I sit next to him and say "Thanks Edward for doing all this."

"Don't worry, it is really not a problem, it is in fact a pleasure."

Then, I take my schedule to study it. I am happy with my classes. My dream is to study law, but there is no way my parents can afford such an expensive education. My only hope is a scholarship. I have set up my goals since a very young age and I am where I need to be: straight A student with as many AP courses as possible. My best bet is Stanford University, one of the best of the countries. Stanford has a program for promising female students with no revenues that I am hoping to qualify for. I will need to remain extremely focused on my studies, but I can do it. As a matter of fact, I am doing it. I need to keep up and one of the scholarships will be mine.

Little by little students start trickling in. I feel like I am the center of attention. This is a new experience for me. My former school had thousands of students, I was one among many. I was no one, only interested in my school work. Not necessary geeky, but driven. As people come in, they introduce themselves. I am nice an answer back. Everyone is welcoming, very welcoming. It is probably a rare event to have new students since very few people will want to come live in Forks.

After each class, Edward waits for me and walks me to our new class. In each class we sit together. He appears as driven as I am. We have very little time between classes but he spends it asking questions, non-stop. For each question he asks, I ask the same about him. By then end of the morning I have learned that Edward likes to read but he hates some of the classic books we are studying this year in Advanced Lit; however, I love them. He is extremely good in algebra which is my weakness. So we compromise, we will help each other studying for finals. Once lunch time arrives, Edward takes me to the cafeteria. We line up together. "My recommendation, go for a sandwich with a fries or chips, anything else is just not fit for human consumption." Once we have our food he takes me to his table. This school is so small that there are no clans. Edward and I seem to have clicked, and I think everyone can see it. During lunch we participate on the general conversation about TV shows and sports. Without thinking I feed him half of the chocolate chip cookie I took for dessert. Once I am done eating, I say to him. "I need to go to the restroom, do I have enough time?"

"Don't worry Bella, you have time." He says as he moves some of my hair from my face.

As I stand up, Jessica, a girl that was sitting with us, stands up with me, "Bella, I also need to go to the restroom, I will go with you. If you want I can walk you to biology. So Edward doesn't need to wait."

"It's OK Jessica, I will wait for her," Edward says before I can answer.

We walk together, and once we are far enough from the table she says "If I were you, I would forget about Edward. I know that he is gorgeous and a great guy, but believe me, he is not interested. He has never dated, in spite of the general efforts of the female Forks population. It seems like no one is good enough for him here."

I guess my crush has not been unnoticed. At least, I hope Edward has not noticed it. Everything about Edward attracts me, his face, his eyes, his smiled, his hair, his voice, even his smell. Even his personality is perfect for me. I have never met someone like me. He would not have been any different if he had been made specifically for me. But I do not say that to her. I just simply say "Don't worry, it is not like that."

When we go back to the cafeteria Edward is waiting for us by the table. As soon as he sees us a beautiful smile appears in his face. "Let's go Bella, only biology and gym and we are done for the day."

In biology we have a laboratory on cell division. I have already studied this in Phoenix and Edward knows his stuff. In less than fifteen minutes we are done with the exercise sheet which gives us a long time to talk. "So, why did you move here Bella?"

"My mom got married and I felt like the third wheel. I didn't want to intrude on them, so I decided to come here and spend some quality time with my dad while in high school."

"What happens after high school?"

"I am not sure, yet. But I know what I want." He gestures with his hand for me to continue, "My dream is to go to law school." I am interrupted by his gasp.

"Mine too."

"Really? Which one?"

"In my family, law runs in our blood. All Cullens graduated from Harvard, so I know that is what it is expected from me. My dad broke the family tradition and studied medicine, but since he went to Harvard, my grandfather accepted it."

"But, is that your dream or your family's?"

"No, it is what I want, believe me. And it is what I will do. What about you?"

"For me it is not that simple. I cannot afford to go to school, but I discovered a special program in Stanford aimed at people like me: girls from low income families with a dream. I need to keep up with my schoolwork and the scholarship will be mine. I have been pushing myself from an early age, and I will not fail. A least, I hope I won't fail."

"Stanford is one of the best!"

"I know, believe me, I know."

Just then the bell rings. I start picking up my books but Edward stops me. He gives me a paper, "Bella, this is my phone number, in case you need it. Please give me yours," he says as he takes out his cell to enter my number. After I give him my number, we go to gym. While walking I say to him, "Just an advice, in the next class stay as far as you can from me if you care for your life."

"Oh, Bella, what can such a small girl do to someone like me?" he asks between laughs.

"Oh, you have no idea!"

Once in gym, I change into the school uniform. Today we are playing volleyball. Thankfully, we are separated, boys in one side and girls in the other. We start doing passes. Volleyball is what can be called my favorite sport since I am at best an average player, but at least I can hit the ball. Basketball or any racket ball game is a completely different story. Once the coach considers that we have done enough warms-up, he organizes a game. Once again, boys and girls are mixed. Edward pushes to have me in his team. He comes and says, "I saw you passing the ball, there is some hope for you as a secondary career if law fails."

"So funny," I deadpan.

The game is in fact a lot of fun .Mike and Edward have apparently an ongoing competition of who can hit the other the most, so they both only smashed against each other.

Once the class is dismissed we go to change. To my surprise, once I come out Edward is once again waiting for me. "You know, I know where the parking lot is."

"I was not sure you had a car, I was waiting in case you needed me to take you home."

"Oh, thanks, I really appreciate your help. My dad had an old truck, it is now mine. It was my welcome home present."

We walk together towards the parking lot, once he sees my truck, Edward is not happy "Old being the key word. That truck cannot be safe for you to drive."

"Nonsense, Edward. It is a very trustworthy vehicle. Anyway, my father is the chief of police. Do you think he would allow me to drive a vehicle that was not in mint conditions? Believe me, the answer is no."

"I don't know Bella; your house is in my way, I will follow you, so I can make sure you arrive home okay."

"It is really not necessary. I appreciate it, but I need to go to the store, my dad has no food in his pantry or freezer."

"Well, I am following you."

"Great, but in fact it would be pefect if I could follow you instead. I am not sure where the store is. I was going to just start driving; this town is not big enough for me to get lost."

"Yes, no problem."

Edward has a shiny silver car. It looks new. My truck next to his car looks really ancient. While I follow Edward, I go over my mental list of things to buy. For tonight, I settle for roasted chicken with potatoes. That is easy enough and I should have enough to have left-overs for tomorrow lunch. The food from the cafeteria was just too disgusting. I also buy ingredients for a tomato sauce, lasagna pasta and lemons, as well as fruits and a variety of vegetables. Charlie is an eager fisherman, and has a freezer filled with fish; I will manage to do something with that.

Edward follows me around the store asking me questions about the food I like and dislike. The list is pretty easy, I like almost everything. Edward, on the other hand is not a fan of veggies. He considers himself a meat-eater.

Once I am done, I pay and put the stuff in my truck. I follow Edward to my house. To my surprise, he comes out his car and helps me carry my bags inside. As we put everything in the kitchen I say "Thanks Edward. I will make sure to inform Mrs. Cope that you went way beyond expectations to be helpful and make me feel welcome."

"That is fine. It is not a problem."

"Do you need to go or you want to stay for a cheese sandwich?"

"There is no one home, so I can stay, if I don't bother you."

"Not at all, please sit. I will start dinner and make the sandwiches."

"What can I do to help you? I am willing to help even if I barely know how to boil water."

"You are good, don't worry. If you want, you can find something to drink."

Very quickly, I prepare the chicken and the potatoes in an oven pan. While the oven finishes heating I prepare the sandwiches. Once the oven is hot enough, I put the chicken inside, and heat the sandwiches in the stove. When the sandwiches are ready, I sit in front of Edward.

He looks at me and says "I can only say wow, how did you do all that?"

"It is just experience. I have always cooked. From a very young age I learned that if I wanted to eat something edible, I better do it. My mother is awesome, but I would say that she is the least well equipped person to take care of herself or a daughter."

Once we are done with the sandwiches, we work on our homework. We work well together, and very quickly we are done. Edward picks up his things and leaves "See you tomorrow, Bella."

"Bye Edward."

Few minutes later, Charlie, my dad, is home. We set the table and sit to eat. "Have was your first day Bella?"

"It was good. Everyone was very nice. Edward Cullen, the class president, was charged with helping me, so no problems."

"Cullen? The son of Dr. Cullen? I heard he is a good boy. Wants to go to Harvard or something like that."

"Yes, that's him."

We finish our dinner in silence. Charlie is like me, we don't need constant chatter to be confortable. When we are done, the phone rings. Charlie answers it and says "Bella, the Cullen boy, for you."

"Edward?"

"Hey Bella, I was wondering. I pass by your house everyday on my way to school. Do you want me to drive you?"

"Edward, I don't want to bother you."

"You are not asking, I am offering. As I said, it is no problem, it is on my way. I don't trust your truck."

"What about people in school?"

"What about them?"

"Aren't you worried about what they will say?"

"I personally don't care one way or the other."

"Okay, I will wait for you."

"See you tomorrow, Bella."

"Bye Edward."

Dad looks at me when I hang up the phone. "Edward offered to pick me up. He doesn't trust the truck." My father's moustache twitch but he just humphs.

I take the leftovers and make chicken sandwiches for Edward and me; it is my way to repay him for his help today. Then, I clean the kitchen, call my mom to tell her about my day and go to my bedroom. As I lie on my bed and close my eyes, I let my mind wander, my thoughts center around Edward, and for the first time, I fall asleep thinking about him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Let me know what you think… **

**Special thanks to Jansails for being the first to review this story and to Sandy4321 for all the support.**

Chapter 2

The next morning I wake up before my alarm. As I get ready to go to school I wish I had something better to wear, but my closet only has jeans, T-shirts and hoodies. I choose my favorite jeans, which make me look and feel good. While I eat my cereals with milk, Charlie drinks his coffee. "Bella, this Saturday I am supposed to go fishing with Billy. Do you like to come?"

"No, dad. That's fine. Fishing is not my thing." I honestly do not understand how someone can spend hours waiting for a fish to come.

"Okay. Do you want me to cancel?"

"There will be many weekends until I graduate. Are you planning on not going to fish until I am done with high school? Don't worry about me."

My dad stands "Do you need money or something?" I shake my head. "Well, see you tonight, have a good day Bella."

"You too, dad, be careful."

I clean the kitchen, grab the lunch bag that I had prepared yesterday and go outside to wait for Edward. As I am closing the door, Edward stops in front of my house. I open the door of the car "Hello Edward, thanks for picking me up."

"Hello Bella, don't worry about it."

As I close the door, I am hit by Edward's smell. It is the most appealing smell I have ever smelled and is able to give me goose bumps. "I have a surprise for you."

"What is it?"

"If I tell you it is not a surprise anymore. I hope you will like it."

"Okay, when do I get it?"

"If you are nice, at lunch time."

"Believe me, I am always nice."

We arrive quickly to school. We exit the car and go inside together. People are gawking at us, and I can hear the whispers starting. I decide to ignore them, just as Edward seems to be doing. We go first to my locker where I take my books, then to his. We immediately go to class. The morning passes as yesterday, without incidents. When the bell rings, Edward jumps next to me and says "It is lunch time. Where is my surprise? I have been extra nice."

"Let's go Edward, a few more minutes."

Once in the cafeteria, Edward starts going to the line, but I push him toward the table. He follows me without questioning. When we sit, I open my backpack and take the lunch bag. I give him his two sandwiches, apple, baby carrots and water. He looks at me as if it was the best present ever. "This is great Bella. Thanks."

The others in the table look at us but they don't comment. Edward gives me back the baby carrots.

I give the back to him. "No way, eat them, they are good for you."

"So, Bella, what happened to your truck? Is it already broken? Or did you just make that up?" Lauren asks.

"No, my truck is good, why do you ask?"

"If the question is why did we ride together, the answer is because I asked her. But that obviously is not your problem." Edward replies back harshly. "Let's go Bella, we better get out of here."

Once outside, Edward says "Sorry about Lauren, she has problems understanding the meaning of no. By the way thanks for lunch, it was awesome." And then he gives me a kiss on my cheek. I feel hot coming from my face, and I am sure I am red. But I liked it, I like it a lot.

During biology we pass notes.

_Are you staying home with me this afternoon?_

_If you invite me…_

_Ok._

_Thanks for the lunch, even the carrots were awesome._

_Get used to the veggies, you better take care of you now, you won't be 17 forever._

After gym Edward drives us to my house. Today I prepare lasagna while Edward watches me. We eat bread with peanut butter and jelly and we do our homework. Once we are done, we pick up our stuff and I start to set up the table for dinner. "Do you want to stay?"

"No, thanks Bella I need to go home, but before I go I wanted to ask you something."

"Go ahead."

"I was wondering if on Saturday you wanted to come with me. I would like to show you something, unless you have something else planned, or you just don't want to come. I totally understand." He finishes pulling his hair.

"It's cool Edward."

"Great! I will come by around 10:30, if that is OK with you."

Just as yesterday, Charlie arrives a few minutes after Edward is gone. And just as yesterday, he asks me about my day and we finish dinner in silence.

Wednesday morning, no one seems surprised when Edward and I arrive together. At lunch, Edward is excited about trying the lasagna but not very happy when I give him green salad.

That evening, Edward stays until Charlie comes home to introduce himself. Dad is surprised to see him in our kitchen. I had not realized that he was not aware that Edward and I spent our afternoons together. Charlie invites Edward to stay for dinner, but once again he goes home to have dinner with his parents. Once alone Charlie says "Bella, what is going on with the Cullen boy."

"Nothing is going on Dad. I barely know him."

"Okay, fair enough. Will there be something going on in the future?"

"I don't know, but I like him if that is the question."

"Bella, this is difficult for me, but necessary. Do you know how to be safe?"

"Ugh, Dad. We are not there, and don't worry, I know all that there is to know. I think one of Renee's major fears is that I will become pregnant before 30. We had that talk before I was 15, and every so often she gave me a refresher. Don't worry."

Thursday and Friday are a repetition of the previous days. The only difference is that Friday night I call Edward before going to bed. "Bella, is everything alright?"

"Yes, great. I was just wondering what I should wear tomorrow. Do I need something special? Maybe prepare some lunch?"

"Nope, just yourself, a sweater and comfy shoes. I will take care of the rest."

"Okay, I can do that. See you tomorrow."

"Sleep well, Bella, I will see you tomorrow. Dream about me." Ha, if he only knew.

Saturday morning I am hyper excited. Time seems to be dragging, so I decide to clean the house. At 10 o'clock, my room and the bathroom are sparkling clean and I am ready to go. I lie down to read for a while. At 10:30 precisely, my door bell rings. I run down the stairs, open the door and find Edward, waiting for me.

"Ready to go," he asks.

"More than ready."

We go to his car and to my surprise he opens the door for me. He drives us to nowhere. "Where are we going Edward?"

"Don't worry Bella. You are safe with me. We are going to walk for a little bit, if that is fine with you."

"Walk… Okay."

He grabs a backpack and we start walking through the forest. "Let me know if you get tired Bella."

I decide to use this time to ask him some questions. "Why haven't I met you before? I used to spend my summers here, at least until I was 13."

"I am from Seattle. My parents decided to come here after I turned 14. They wanted me to have more freedom that if I grew up in the city. We still have our house over there. Once I go to college, they will move back. In fact, my dad works half time in Seattle and half time in Forks. My mom is an interior decorator; she opened an office in Port Angeles for now but she still has clients in Seattle."

"Oh, so you are new! How do you like Forks?" I laugh.

"It has improved a lot in the last week… Come Bella, just a little bit more. I run a lot, I discovered this place one time, and it has become my favorite spot. So, now I want to share it with my favorite girl."

I am stunned by his comment. In a same sentence he not only called me his girl, but he also said I was his favorite. "Oh, I am your favorite girl. What do your other girls say about that?"

"I have only another girl, my mom. She knows you are the favorite and she said 'Bring her home over the weekend'." I am silent once again, I just look down, I am not sure what to do next; I am a shy girl. He grabs my hand "Don't worry Bella; by the way, we are here."

I suddenly raise my eyes and see a beautiful meadow. Edward opens his bag, takes a cover and a couple of sandwiches. "I thought you could barely boil water," I comment while we eat.

"My mom did all this. You can thank her when you go to my house tomorrow. Will you go, won't you?"

"If you want…"

"Yes, I want."

Once we are done eating, we lie down in silence next to each other. After a while, I close my eyes and enjoy the peace surrounding me. Suddenly Edward says "Bella, can I kiss you?"

I open my eyes and I find him watching me intently. I look into his eyes for a couple of seconds making sure I will remember this moment for the rest of my life. I nod my head and I see the most beautiful smile grace his lips. He then comes even closer and kisses mine. Our first kiss is sweet and innocent, just like we are. I look into his eyes once again. I cannot believe how my life has changed in a matter of days. We stay in the meadow until the temperature starts to drop. This tie we hold hands as we walk back to the car. Edward drops me home and walks me to my door. Before leaving he kisses me again intently and says, "See you tomorrow Bella, I will come to pick you, my house is not easy to find."

I nod my head and open my door. Before he can go, I surprise him by grabbing him by his sweater and giving him a peck, "Thanks for today, Edward." As I go inside my house, I feel like I am walking in a cloud.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks to all of you for reading this story. Also, a special thank you to all of you that reviewed or PM me. I always appreciate your comments. This chapter was difficult to write. I have like 5 different versions on my computer. Let's see what you think….**

Chapter 3

Saturday night Charlie didn't complain when I told him that today I would go to meet Edward's parents. He didn't appear surprised either, probably sensing that something important had happened that day. In typical Charlie fashion, he did not ask, and I did not tell. My mom on the other hand has a 'Bella radar' and knew from the second I said hello that something was going on. She kept me on the phone for hours while I tried to dodge her questions.

As promised, at 11:00 Edward is here to pick me up. Charlie insisted he would open the door so I let him use his fatherly right to try intimidating my boyfriend. As soon as Edward sees me, he gives me a goofy smile. The roll of Charlie's eyes lets me know that he can see through our game.

I promise to be back before dark and we are out of my house. Edward grabs my hand as we walk to his car while I can feel Charlie watching us from the kitchen window. As soon as we turn around the corner Edward stops the car and finally (finally!) kisses me.

The drive is longer than what I expected, but as we arrive to Edward's house I realize something, "My house is not on your way to school."

"True, but it's a small but worthy detour." I can't stop my snort. His reply is "So what? Bite me!"

Accepting the invitation, I grab his face and softly bite his lower lip then I kiss it. Before he can react I'm out of his car. "I won't forget this, Bella. Right now you are safe because my parents are expecting us, but I will have my revenge," he threatens while he takes me inside his house.

"You don't scare me Edward," I tease him.

"We'll see."

We walk directly into the kitchen where his parents are setting up the table. Edward introduces me "Mom, Dad, this is my girlfriend Bella. Bella these are my parents, Esme and Carlisle". Is it wrong if I love to hear him calling me his girlfriend?

His mom surprises me by hugging me, "Welcome Bella, I am so happy to meet you." At that moment I realize that Edward not only inherited his hair and eye color from his mom, but also his tactile disposition. His dad, on the other hand, is a little more reserved, but he also welcomes me and smiling makes me feel at ease "Bella, nice to meet you."

"I hope you'll like my cooking Bella. Edward hasn't stopped talking about how well you cook. I am starting to develop an inferiority complex!" Esme tells me laughing.

"Thanks Mrs. Cullen, but I'm sure he exaggerates. Believe me, anything is better than what they call food in the school cafeteria," I reply shyly.

"None of that Honey, you have to call us Esme and Carlisle. And please don't be so modest, I know for a fact that Edward has very specific taste buds. If he says you know how to cook, then I know it's true. Edward, the food will be ready in a few minutes, why don't you show Bella around? I'll call you kids when I need you here."

Immediately, Edward grabs my hand and takes me upstairs to his bedroom. I go inside while he stays by the doorway. I don't know what I was expecting, but it definitely wasn't what I found. Edward's bedroom is big and tidy! He has a queen size bed, a big TV with several video game systems and a state of the art sound system. What impresses me the most is his amazing music collection rivaling a music store! "Is it always like this or did you clean up for me?"

"Honestly, it's always like this. I'm a little OCD, I can't stand messes," he says sheepishly.

"What's up with the music?"

"I don't know. I just love music and I have an eclectic taste. I also like having choices, at least music wise."

"Do you have your own bathroom?"

He points to a door. Just like his bedroom, the bathroom is blue and white, and sparkling clean. "This is great, I'm kind of jealous."

I continue inspecting his things until we hear Esme calling us. Edward stays by the door blocking the way. "Your mom is calling, let's go."

"Not so fast little girl. It's time for my revenge."

"Edward, your parents are waiting for us" I answer amused.

"Well, better hurry up and pay. You owe me a kiss." That is easier said than done. Edward is much taller than I. I step on his feet while I grab his shoulders trying to climb him as I push him down. My lips barely reach his, but as soon as they brush together he immediately helps me by bending his neck.

"That was an extremely painful revenge." I tease him.

"Be careful Bella or I might decide that the punishment is not over yet."

I ran down the stairs "Still not scared!"

When we arrive to the kitchen, the food is on the table. Esme has prepared a delicious roast beef. "Bella, Edward told us that you also want to study law," Edward's dad says.

"Yes, that's the plan. I'm trying to secure a scholarship from Stanford, otherwise I won't be able to afford such a long and expensive degre."

"That's a top notch institution and a great program, good choice."

"Oh Bella! I'm sure you'll get the scholarship. A little bird told me that you are Edward's only competition for Valedictorian. You should be really proud of you." Esme says grabbing my hand.

"Thanks for the encouragement, I really appreciate it. I have been set in this path and fighting for this scholarship for so long that sometimes I am scared I'll run out of energy before I finish high school. Each year things get more difficult but I have to maintain straight A's. Also, it's not like once I finish high school I am done. If ever I get the scholarship I will need to work even harder in college to keep it. I feel like I have been waiting for so long, I just wish that this uncertainty would end."

"Bella, don't stress so much. You are doing an awesome job. I'm sure you won't have any problem. Remember, I am in class with you and I can see how good you are."

"Thanks Edward."

"How are you coping with the change of scenery? I'm sure coming from Arizona, Forks must feel somewhat rainy." Esme inquires.

"Definitely. I was born here and I used to come visit Charlie during the summers, but a few years ago I decided that I wanted a drier place. Now, for some reason, things don't seem so bad." I finish looking towards Edward who winks at me.

After lunch we watch a movie with Esme, while Carlisle goes to the hospital to visit some patients. It's a very pleasant afternoon. I could never really sit ike this with my mom since she was always busy and easily distracted. I'm happy that Edward has such a close relationship with his parents. As soon as the movie finishes, Edward takes me home. We stop at the same spot as last time, just before the last corner, so we can kiss goodbye properly. I think I can become addict to Edward kisses. I would have never imagined that kissing could be such an wonderful activity, even if a car parked by a curb is not the most conductive place to enjoy kissing Edward to its full potential. Once at home, I sit with a book in the living room while Dad finishes watching the game on TV.

When the game is over, we order a pizza, Charlie's Sunday tradition. "How was your day kid?" Charlie asks.

"It was good. Edward's parents were great. What about yours Dad?"

"Nothing much Bella. I spent a couple of hours with Billy. What about that Cullen boy, is he still treating you well?"

"He's great. Don't worry."

After dinner I decide to call Edward. I am a little nervous about going back to school tomorrow. I'm not sure what people would think and I don't know what Edward wants. In fact, we have not discussed the change in our relationship and maybe he will want to keep it a secret.

"Hey Bella, what's up?"

"So, I was wondering if now that your secret is out you will continue to drive me to school or should I take my truck."

"Very funny, Bella. But it's great you called me. I now realize that I forgot to ask you something. You see, I'm in the track team and tomorrow we start spring training. The team meets every day after school for an hour to work together. We are also supposed to run every day on our own but that I usually do it in the evenings. I really like driving you to school and I also would love to know that you're watching me while we train. So, would you mind waiting for me?"

"No, I would love to see the training. Are you sure your coach won't mind if I tag along?"

"Awesome. Don't worry about that, if we get distracted, he gets mad at us, not at the public. His punishment is extra circuit training for everybody, so as a team we make sure that no one gets distracted."

"Edward, in fact that wasn't what I wanted to discuss. I'm kind of nervous about what people might say tomorrow. You see, I'm new in school and in less than a week I already am someone's girlfriend. Do you think people will talk?"

"They better not. Bella, we don't care what others say but we can remain discreet for a while if you want."

"I'm not sure, but I think that would be better."

However, to my surprise the next day we don't fool anyone. It might be that Edward can't stop touching me: he plays with my hair or my fingers, caresses my cheek, plays footsie or gives me tiny kisses in my hands. Lauren is difficult at the beginning, trying to make snide comments, but it doesn't last long.

After class while we walk towards the track, Mike approaches me "So, Cullen and you, eh?"

I just look at him, without knowing what to say. "It's cool, Edward is a great guy,I'm happy for both of you" is his only reply before joining the rest of the team. I sit with Jessica and we watch the guys practice running. I think I could watch Edward all the time and never get bored. Training isn't just running until dropping dead and I quickly see how it is important to improve the technique. I also realize that Edward is pretty fast.

"Jessica, I'm sure Mike would love if you invited him on a date. He can't stop looking at you. What are you waiting for?"

"Do you think, Bella?"

"It's pretty obvious." It's funny how when you're in the outside those things are obvious but not so much when you're one of the protagonists. Jessica and Mike is a sure thing in my views.

After training, we go to my house where we do our homework while I prepare dinner. We spend the rest of the time until Charlie comes home kissing.

By the end of the week, our routine is well established and everyone seems to have forgotten that I'm the new girl in town. Also by the end of the week, Edward and I have graduated from tender kisses to heavy make out sessions.

On Saturday, we celebrate our one week anniversary by having our first official date. Choices are rather restricted and we decide to go watch a movie in Port Angeles. That night we reached second base. It wasn't planned, it just happened. After the movie, we park in front of the sea to watch the stars (aka make out). My hands are freezing so Edward puts them under his T-shirt. I will never forget the sensation of touching his skin, his body so different than my own, the contrast between the smoothness of his taut skin over his muscles and the hoarse feeling of the trail of hair in the middle of his belly. Without thinking, I start caressing and exploring. Our breathing gets heavier but none of us is able to stop me. My hands continue to move upwards until they reach his chest. When my fingers caress his nipples, Edward shivers. I never felt so powerful in my life, I was doing THAT to him. I do it again and Edward threatens "Stop it or I'll do it to you."

Without thinking I answer "Do it."

"Are you sure Bella?"

"Yes, please," and suddenly it's true, I want him to do it. I never thought I would be that girl, but with Edward everything feels right. He eagerly caresses my belly, my waist, the sides of my chest and my breasts. He tests their weight, before squeezing them. "What do you think?" I ask shyly.

"I really like them, they are perfect." He replies laughing at my silly need of reassurance.


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks to all of you for reading. Special thanks to my favorite reviewers, you are AWESOME.**

Chapter 4:

April 2005

The week after out date in Port Angeles passed without changes. I was in paradise. I'm pretty sure I had a smile on my face from the moment I woke up until I went to bed again. Heck, I probably kept wearing my smile even while I slept. I now was certain I knew the definition of happiness. I was amazed how suddenly my life seemed brighter, colors were more intense, anything appeared easy, and there were zero clouds on my personal sky even if living in Forks I got wet on a regular basis.

The point is that I had discovered love! Because let's be clear, there are very few things in life that I knew with certainty in my short life, but at that point I was sure of three things. First, I had never been so happy in my life, second, I was irremediably in love with Edward Cullen, and third, even if I still couldn't understand how that was possible, he seemed to really like me. I could perfectly imagine the rest of my life next to Edward Cullen. We would have to find a way to manage the years in college, but we had more than a year to figure things out. If Edward and I were still together, by the time we graduated high school our relationship could be strong enough to stand long distance. We would have to see how things evolved.

That week was also marked by a new development in the love life of Forks' high. As a surprise to everyone, including Mike, who had had a crush on Jessica since he was 15 and was oblivious the feeling was mutual, she finally had invited him out on Tuesday night. Mike is Edward's best friend and also a member of the track team, so I get to spend a fair amount of my free time with him. I had discovered that he was a good guy, he seemed conceited at first but he was in fact extremely caring about the people he liked and I was now included in that group. The nice thing about them being together was to have another girl present while we were goofing around or while I waited for training to be done. It was not like Jessica and I could become best friends, but she had always been nice to me. Lauren was a bad influence and now that Jessica spent the majority of her time with Mike, she was becoming a good friend of mine.

On Friday, the last day before Spring break, we were watching the boys train when Jessica asked "Do you have any plans for Spring break?"

"Not really. Just the usual. But I'm planning on looking for a job. I used to babysit in Phoenix, but that seems to be impossible here in Forks. I guess there aren't enough small kids or not enough activities for parents to do on their own in the evening. I couldn't find a single family needing an occasional or regular babysitter. I need to work since I am saving for college."

"Oh, Bella, you should definitely talk to Mike. The other day he told me his parents will be looking for someone to help in their store, Newton's Outfitters. It would be awesome if you got the job! We could hang out together."

"That could be an option, but I don't know anything about camping!"

"Don't worry about that. I'm sure Mike will prefer having you there than somebody else. We can make sure that he helps you while you get to know things. My understanding is that you will mainly work replacing merchandize. I think the clients usually know their stuff."

And that's how I became the newest employee of Mike's parents' store. I work three afternoons a week as well as Saturdays or Sundays. During summer, I will be able to increase my hours if I want. The pay isn't great and this job seriously cuts down on my time with Edward, but it's necessary. He is very supportive, helping me as much as he can. He changed his running routine the days I'm in the store, going while I'm at work instead of during the evening, so he can spend that time with me.

The first weekend of Spring break rained continuously. We had planned to go back to the meadow but it was impossible. We spent Sunday afternoon with my dad. I sat on the couch reading a book while Edward and my dad bonded over baseball. Apparently, Edward's knowledge of my dad's favorite sport was enough to promote him from being the Cullen boy to Edward. My guess is that Charlie was happy of my relationship with Edward. The more attachments I had in Fork, the smaller the probability that I would want to go back with my mom. I came to realize that Charlie had missed me growing up and he was glad to have this opportunity at parenting.

That evening Edward stayed to have pizza with us. Charlie seemed really happy to have another male in the house, he was almost talkative. However, once we were alone, Charlie asked me to sit in the kitchen with him for five minutes. "Bella, Edward seems like a good guy for you and I'm very happy you have found him. I realize that both of you are similarly dedicated to school. Your grades haven't changed with your relationship, which was my major fear. "

"Thanks Dad."

"So, next week is Spring break. You are a big girl Bella. I trust that you know what you're doing with the Cullen boy, I mean Edward. Just be safe, OK? Also, always remember that I'm here to discuss anything you want... I guess what I'm trying to say is that as much as I would like you to still be my little girl; I know that you are growing up. I'm proud of you and I trust your judgment. Is it clear Bella?"

"Yes, Dad. Don't worry. It isn't like that. As for next week being Spring break, it isn't very different than the rest of the afternoons when Edward and I are alone after school."

"I know Bella. That's exactly what I mean. I know that I leave you alone and unsupervised too much, but I trust that you know what you want."

Very quickly we established a routine for the week of Spring break. Early in the morning Edward went for a run while I prepared lunch and dinner. The rest of the morning, we worked together on some school related topic. The afternoons were our free time, so we usually went to Edward's house since there were more entertainment options. However, independently of the chosen activity: movies, video games, piano or reading, invariably we spent the afternoon kissing. Kissing Edward was glorious. He was like a drug, I never had enough. Kissing him soon became my favorite hobby. The afternoons I had to work he came with me and we hang out with Mike and Jessica. Mike's parents were okay with that if the job got done and we were not roughhousing.

Friday was our last day of unsupervised freedom until Monday afternoon. We were lying on Edward's queen size bed, kissing, when suddenly I realized that we had never discussed Edward's past relationships. "How many girlfriends have you had here like this, in your bedroom?"

"Silly Bella, you are my first girlfriend."

"Okay, how many girls, any kind of title, have you kissed here in your bed?"

"You're my first everything, Bella."

"Really? Why? I know a few girls in school that _really_ like you."

"I was waiting for the good one to come." That concept was still difficult to understand. How someone like him could choose me over any girl? I'm just a regular girl. I would say that the word 'average' should be defined as 'Bella' in the dictionary: medium size, not too tall but not too short, not beautiful but not ugly either, brown eyes and brown hair. As I said, in a single word "average". While him, he's extraordinary.

"What about you?" he surprised me by asking

"You already know; there has been no one before."

"So, why? I can't believe you didn't get offers in you previous school. Here you had all the guys trying to get your attention, at least until I made it clear you were mine. But I'm sure some of them are waiting for you to get tired of me."

I could only laugh at that. Like it would ever happen! "No one before was interested, just as I don't think anyone is here."

"Bella, you don't see yourself clearly. Open your eyes. You're also oblivious of the interest of the male population of Forks high. That last part is fine, you can keep ignoring it." He told me with a smile.

As April started, Edward and I threw ourselves into SAT training. We wanted to be as ready as possible so we decided to take the SAT this spring semester. We could always take them again if needed in senior year. Mid-April, my energy was running low, between school, work at Newton' Outfitters and extra study; my body was reaching its limits.

Today, we were lounging in Edward's bed studying history when my brain gave up. I had been reading the same paragraph for the last five minutes with no success. Suddenly, I pick my book, close it and let it fall to the floor. As soon as it hits the floor with a _thuck_, Edward looks at me questioningly.

"I need a recess." I say watching him. "I want some distraction."

"Do you want to go outside?"

That is definitely not on the list of what I have in my head as good distraction activities. Without hesitating, I sit straddling his hips, and I start kissing him. As the kiss gets deeper, I start running my hands through his hair and I can feel Edward growing hard under me. "Ow!" I say surprised.

"Indeed 'ow'," Edward repeats. "Look Bella, I'm sorry, I can't avoid that happening when you are kissing me," he adds trying to push me away from his lap.

"Wait! Stop pushing me. This is so very interesting. Does it really happen each time I kiss you?"

He lets out a big laugh. "Pretty much."

"Mm, I didn't know. How come I have never felt it before?

"Believe me, it has been hard." When I laugh, he amends "I mean, it has been difficult, but each time I tried to move away. I'm not sure what's the etiquette about getting a stiffy while kissing your girl."

"I don't know either, but I like it." I really like knowing that I have that effect on him!

"Really?" He asks with a goofy smile.

"Really." And then it's my turn to turn shy. "I'm not saying that I am ready now, but going all the way with you is something that I would like."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously. Don't you want it, too?"

"Bella, I think you have physical proof and can feel how much I want it. How far into the future are we talking about? Not that I'm pushing or something, I just want to make sure I'll be available." His tone lets me know that he's teasing me.

"Mm, I don't know. We'll have to wait and see, I guess." I say moving a little around to feel him better.

"Bella" he protests hoarsely.

"Sorry, did I hurt you?" I ask sheepishly as I start moving away. I might know a lot about sex in theory, but in practice I knew nothing about it or the workings of the male body.

"No, you didn't hurt me. I really liked it. That's the problem." With a grin I decide to test the effect of my movements. Edward immediately closes his eyes as he grabs my hips and starts directing my movements, but at the same time he pleads, "Please stop Bella."

Immediately I stop "Do you want me to stop?"

"No, I really don't want, it feels so good, but if you continue moving like that, this is going to get really messy" he opens his eyes looking at me directly.

I start moving again, and against his lips I say before kissing him hard, "Messes don't bother me."

A groan is his only reply.

A few minutes later, Edward is trembling, his cheeks are red and he is panting. He suddenly grabs once again my hips and pushes me down hard against him as his hips push up. He stays still for a while before taking a big gulp of air while hugging me at the same time. Once his breathing is under control, he moves me to his side and says each word separately "Do not move from here." He then grabs clothes from his closet and goes to his bathroom to take a shower.

When I'm alone, I fully realize what just happened. When I'm with Edward, everything happens naturally. Usually, I'm a shy girl and I'm surprised that I was able to do that with him. I mean, a few weeks ago I hadn't even been kissed, and today I have a boyfriend with whom I am discovering physical love. Edward coming undone is a beautiful sight that I'm hoping I'll get to see again soon.

Very quickly Edward is back sitting next to me, his hair is dripping wet. He lies next to me once again and holds me in his arms. "Bella, that was amazing. Thanks."

"Don't worry about it, it was a pleasure."

Edward laughs, "Believe me, I'm pretty sure the pleasure was all mine." Then he adds, "What I said before is true. I don't want to pressure you to do anything you don't want. I also don't want you to feel obligated to do anything. Just being with you is enough for me."

"Thanks, but it's cool. I personally think that what just happened was amazing. I'm most definitely planning on having a repeat pretty soon, I mean only if you're up to the challenge."

Edward squeezes me hard, kisses me in front and with a big grin tells me, "Sweetheart, I have no problems being up to any kind of challenge if you're in the picture. However, my mom taught me how to share, so next time I'm not the only one getting messy, and that is a promise!"


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks for reading. Please, please, please, let me know what you think.**

Chapter 5

May 2005

Edward had been insisting that he wanted me to run with him. Me! However, there's no way I can refuse him something. He has very effective ways to make me forget what I am thinking about. Really, he just needs to look at me and say please. He can also coerce me into doing whatever he wants by kissing. I pleaded my cause stating that I would not be able to go as fast or as far as him, but he dismissed me. He assured me he didn't care, if I was with him that was enough. So, after letting him try to convince me for a while I gave up. The first time, it was hard. Many of the following times were hard as well. My feet seemed full of lead, I was unable to breath and the burning pain in my side was almost enough to make me cry. And then, the following days the torture continued each time that I moved. All my muscles hurt. I was in pain in places I didn't even known I had muscles.

But, on the good side of things, Edward was completely right, after a few times it gets easier. Running has many benefits. I could feel my stamina going up and I also liked the new definition than had appeared in my body. My coordination on the other hand had not improved. By the end of the run I was always a mess, completely soaked in sweat and exhausted while my heart pumped furiously and I panted trying to get enough air to my lungs. But inevitable I had a huge smile on my face as I was proud of having accomplished such a feat.

I started going for a run with him once a week, usually on Sundays. I wasn't fast enough or had enough endurance for Edward. So, sometimes he would let me go at my pace while he would go and come back in front me much faster. Watching him run was an amazing sight, it seemed so effortless for him.

There are a few things that I liked about running with Edward. First and foremost it was spending time with him. I was ready to do anything to be with him as much as possible. I never had enough of him. I also liked the peace we enjoyed while running. We would go through the forest, where the air was crisp and pure; coming from Phoenix the contrast was amazing. On Mondays, after a run I would be physically tired, but very relaxed and emotionally ready for another week of school work. Edward said it was the effect of the endorphins, whatever that meant.

Also while running we could chat about many things. Edward insisted that I shouldn't talk otherwise I wouldn't get enough oxygen. My thinking was that if he wanted me running; he better take my attention away from the pain. Apparently, running is a question of mind over matter, being stronger than the pain, reaching goals, and all that crap that sport people can spew. Guess what? I have not so much mind control over my body, so while we ran we also talked. And we had some of the best conversations while running!

A favorite topic was life after college. I loved hearing Edward talking about 'us'. Maybe we should have discussed college, but it was a something that we had started avoiding. Instead, we discussed where we would live (definitely Seattle), if we were going to live in a house or an apartment (a house, of course), how many children we would have. This last topic came up several times. I think both of us being only children we wanted a big family. I was however a little scared of my mothering skills considering the example I had while growing up so I would say two kids were enough, a boy and a girl. Edward didn't care as soon as there were more than one. But Edward had a condition; our girl would have to be named Elizabeth after his grandmother. Apparently Elizabeth was Esme's mom, who had died when Esme was a little girl. To this day, Esme still misses her mother terribly and Edward wants to honor his grandmother. I thought it was a great idea since Esme is a loving person and she would be happy if her granddaughter carried her mom's name, plus Elizabeth Cullen definitely sounds great.

Today, however, I wanted to discuss something else, and I was a little shy about it. So, as soon as we start running I jump in. "On Friday I was talking to Jessica while you guys trained. She asked me if we were using condoms or if I was on birth control." I am glad that when I run my face immediately becomes red, so he can't see my embarrassment at bringing this up.

"Okay?" He says unsure where I am going with such an icebreaker.

"So I told her we weren't. Yet." Once again I stop.

"Bella, please tell me, there is nothing you can't share with me. And by the way, I really liked your last word, 'yet', but you know that."

"Edward, you know me, I like to plan, and Jessica got me thinking. I would like us to plan that together. What should we do?"

"Well, I'm all for planning with you. Honestly, I have never given much thought about that. I guess condoms would have been the default option. But, obviously you have been thinking about this, so please tell me?"

"Okay, I think I don't want condoms. Jessica said that it feels much better without and a few other things that I wished she had not shared."

But then he interrupts me "Gosh, is there something you girls don't talk about and keep private?"

"I'm not sure. Your trainings are pretty long and we need to talk about something. I am a private person, so I don't share details. Jessica on the other hand is definitely a sharer, she tells me everything. Sometimes much more than I wish to know. She also loves to talk, so you can be sure she always finds something to tell me. Anyway, since both of us have a clean slate, I don't think we should worry about diseases. Am I right?"

"Yeah, you know that. I am fine with whatever you want."

"Great, that brings my next problem. I need to go to the doctor. I can't do that in Forks. Either my dad or your dad would know it immediately. Jessica said that there is a clinic in Port Angeles. Would you take me there? I don't want to go alone, and I don't want to go with Jessica. I definitely would prefer if it was you that came with me."

"Sweetheart, even if going to the doctor wasn't for the two of us, I would go with you wherever and whenever you wanted."

"Thanks, so can we do it this Friday afternoon?"

Edward chokes "This Friday, so soon. I mean, yes, of course we can."

"Edward, it isn't like that. I am not sure exactly how it works but I know that you can't start the pill whenever you want. You need to be at the beginning of a cycle. Also, I am not sure how long it takes for them to be effective. So, I think the sooner we do this, the better."

That's how Friday after training we go to Port Angeles. Once we park the car, I can feel my heart beat skyrocketing. Edward hugs me until my breathing normalizes once again, "Let's go."

"Oh, no, I don't want you in there with me. That would definitely be weird. Just wait in here, please?"

"If that's what you want." He gives me a good luck kiss and I am out of the car.

Once inside the clinic, I manage to calm down. There is another girl my age before me, so I have to wait a few minutes. I wish I had brought something to read with me. However, everyone in the clinic is great. There are no weird looks, no judgmental comments. Quite the opposite in fact. The doctor is a sweet older lady. She performs a complete examination but at each step she explains what she is doing, why she is doing it and she reassures me that everything seems normal.

Once the examination is done, we have a talk about birth control options and how to make sure there are no accidents. She insists that birth control pills are only to avoid getting pregnant and that they wouldn't protect against diseases. I reassure her that I am aware of that without going too much into details. Less than one hour later, I am back inside Edward's car with my prescription.

We go to the pharmacy to get it filled and while we wait we go to sit once again in the car. As soon as we close the doors I say "I didn't ask how much it would cost. I hope I have enough money."

"Bella, I will pay for them, of course."

For some reason I don't like people spending money on me. It might be because I had to become independent from a young age. "No, you aren't. Those are my pills, I'll pay for them."

"Don't be irrational, the pills are for us."

"It's my body, my pills." The more Edward tries to calm me down, the more enraged I become.

"Bella, this is a partnership, you take the pills, and I pay for them." He explains pointing at each of us. "Really, it seems only fair."

"No." I was ready to go back home and forget about the pills.

"Bella!"

"Okay, you can pay half."

Edward grabs my chin until I am looking into his eyes. He then squeezes my hands and says "Bella, you work hard to earn money to go to school. Just because of that I would pay for them. But more importantly, this is for the both of us, for our couple. You have to accept that there are two of us involved and in a couple we share things. Sharing doesn't mean we do everything in half, it means we trust the other person." He waits until I nod. "So, I'll buy them for you, without discussions. Okay?"

I think about it for a few minutes. I see the logic but it still bothers me. However, I know he is right so I kiss him and say "Thanks."

After we pick up my pills we decide to stay in Port Angeles to celebrate. We know that the rest of the weekend will be rather calm since we are taking our SAT next week. We decide to once again watch a movie and then we go to park in what has become our spot. It's a great place from where we can see the sea and the stars without getting out of the car. It is also in a secluded place, which means we have our privacy.

As soon as we park, Edward scoots his seat back and I go to his lap straddling him. We have become were proficient at this, practicing as often as possible. We explore each other's body as much as allowed by our clothes and the space inside the car. But the reality is that the car is very uncomfortable, so we mainly kiss.

"Are you worried about next week?" I ask him.

"Not really, we've been working hard. We are well prepared, and if we aren't happy with the scores, we can always take the tests again next semester. We should go in there thinking that they are a practice test, not the real deal. What about you?"

"Honestly, I am worried. What if I'm not good enough for Stanford? But on the other hand, what if I am?"

"Wait, I think I'm lost. Of course, you're good enough for Stanford. I'm not worried about that. But, what did you mean about the other part?"

"Edward, I'm scared of going away. I like being with you." I confess.

"I like that too, Bella. Please don't worry about that now. We will see about that later."

The following week, the tests are relatively easy. For sure, Edward and I were well prepared. I'm certain that all our study sessions will pay off. Despite my fears about being separated from Edward after next year, I can't avoid being happy to be done with the tests and feel confident about it. This is something that I have been wanting for so long.


	6. Chapter 6

**Many thanks to my faithful reviewers. I would love, really love to know what the other readers think. Please, just a little tiny review. It would make my day.**

Chapter 6

June 2005

The SAT results were finally available. The two weeks between the actual tests and when the results were released were particularly stressful. Edward and I were waiting impatiently for our scores, even if we knew the day they were going to be released. We also had the normal high school tests for which we still had to study, which meant that our studying routine had to continue for a couple more weeks.

Not surprisingly our results were great, which shows that preparing this test pays. Our parents were extremely proud of both of us. The best example was Carlisle. From the beginning Edward's mom and I developed a close relationship. Probably because Esme always had wanted to have more children but couldn't and I became her adoptive daughter, while she fulfilled the empty spot left by my mother when I moved to Forks. In a way, Esme was more a mother figure to me than my own harebrained mother. Esme and I would often do things together: I would help her cook or she would discuss fashion with me (in those particular occasions she did all the talking while I just nodded when required), even sometimes I chose to spend time with her while Edward was busy doing other stuff. Carlisle, on the other hand, always remained more distant. I came to realize very early that it wasn't because of me but just his personality. In fact, I was sure that he liked me since he would always include me in discussions and ask about things in my life. He was just more reserved than Esme. However, the day of the scores, I was shocked when he took me in his arms squeezing me while very softly he told me "I'm so proud of you sweetheart, so proud."

The day of the results, Esme decided to organize a grill/night celebration for both families. It was also the first 'official' meeting of the parents even if of course in a town the size of Forks they already knew each other. The SAT scores marked the completion of another step into our future, we were one step closer to becoming adults, but also to reaching the dreaded moment in which we would have to live apart. However, that night was filled with joy and discussions of colleges, exams and applications.

In spite of the fact that our success brought us one step closer to our separation, neither Edward not I could come down from our cloud. I was still riding what I came to call the high tide of love. Edward and I felt unstoppable.

School tests were easy in comparison with the SAT test. The last event of importance on the school year was Prom. Edward had invited me as soon as we became a couple. Obviously, I didn't want to go. Dance and Bella were not supposed to be in the same sentence! However, Edward pleaded that it was a rite of passage, an obligation if you want. Just as he did for running, he put in place his 'let's convince Bella' strategy which combines mind-erasing kisses and puppy eyes. Of course I was putty in his hands, and loved each second of his campaign, but less than a week after we took the SAT, I went dress shopping in Port Angeles with Jessica and Angela. As always with Jessica, the conversation centered on Edward and me, and what we weren't doing. Jessica couldn't understand how I wasn't jumping his bones. No matter how many times I told her that we wouldn't do that during Prom, she didn't believe me. Feeling my discomfort, Angela changed topics to summer plans. Not necessary an easier topic for me.

Prom day was an eye opening experience for me. Esme, the ever caring Esme, realized that I would be unable to fix my hair or do my make-up alone. Not only I had no idea how to apply make-up but I didn't own anything. That was never part of my life, and Renee had never stopped with her life long enough to teach me. Since I was the daughter she never had, Esme absolutely wanted to help me get ready. How can you say no to loving Esme?

When I opened the door after the doorbell rang early the afternoon of Pro night, I found Esme with a huge smile on her face and a present bag. "Honey, this is for you. If you need help with any of those after today, please ask me." As I opened the bag I found several basic make-up items such as lip gloss or eye shadows.

"Thanks" I said as I hugged her.

"My pleasure. Now, why don't you go put your dress so we can start? I will stay here chatting with you dad, just call me when you are done and I'll go to your bedroom."

I honestly believe that the dress I found was beautiful even if it was so very different than my usual attire. To start with it was red, and it was dotted everywhere with little rhinestones that made it shine. When Esme saw me, I could see the tears coming to her eyes. "Oh, darling! You are so beautiful." What I always liked about Esme is that she wouldn't say I looked beautiful but that I was beautiful, two completely different ideas.

While Esme was applying my make-up the doorbell rang again. Even if it was way too early, and I knew for certain it couldn't be Edward, I couldn't avoid becoming pale as my nerves spiked. "Don't worry, that can't be him. Your father will get the door."

When she was done, she told me I was magnificent and we went downstairs so she could take pictures of Charlie and me. To my surprise, I found not only Charlie but also Carlisle sharing a bear in front of a game. Both of them looked at me speechless. It was the first time that I realized that Carlisle and Charlie were in fact very similar! Both are reserved but manage to convey their love with very few words. Carlisle looked at me sheepishly as he said "I made sure he was ready and then I came here, I hope you don't mind but I didn't want to miss all this." And I guessed by 'this' he meant me all dressed up. I just smiled at him while I shook my head.

Esme started directing everyone, and I posed with all of them for what seemed like thousands of pictures. It was a good thing that Esme had invested in a digital camera. We were in the middle of the picture taking session, when the doorbell rang once again, and this time I knew it was him. Charlie opened the door and there he was. I had never seen him in anything else that jeans and T-shirts, and suddenly I was very happy he made me go through this circus. Edward in a dark suit will always be gorgeous. As soon as he saw me a crooked smile appeared in his face. He knew that this was really awkward for me. He just gave me a tiny kiss and my corsage. It was a white flower, very delicate. After another round of pictures we were finally ready to go.

We first went to dinner with Jessica and Mike. Going to Fork's dinner on Prom night it was kind of a tradition. Every year, all kids would eat there since it was the only option in Forks, and all patrons knew that for all intents and purposes, Forks' dinner was reserved for high school students on Prom night. After dinner, we went to school in what seemed like a global migration. The gym had been decorated for the occasion with balloons, streamers and lights, all very classic. I had promised Edward that I would dance with him, but only slow music. Amazingly, I promised that by myself, he hadn't had to use his persuasion strategy, but I was ready for anything if it involved being in his arms. I also felt that it came with the girlfriend title. If I didn't dance with my man, he might feel the need to ask someone else. I absolutely didn't want to have to witness anybody else in Edward's arms.

We goofed around with our friends until the music changed. When slow the music started, Edward grabbed my hand and pulled me to the dance floor. I immediately felt at home holding him. The only problem was that my high heels changed the dynamic of our embrace. My head wasn't at his shoulder level as usually, but I found its new place by his neck equally interesting. We danced in silence while I peppered his neck with small kisses as he stroked my back slowly. To my surprise, the second song was _Lady in red_. As soon as it started, Edward gave me a big conceited smile and I immediately knew that he had something to do with it.

"I couldn't avoid it. It's the first think I thought about when I saw you in that dress. Now that I think about it, I believe I didn't tell you how beautiful you are. But, it's your entire fault for being so pretty and making me forget my manners."

"Thanks." Edward was always telling me pretty or beautiful. By then I had started to believe that for him I was pretty even if I knew better. As they say beauty is in the eye of the beholder. We continued dancing while Edward sang the song softly to me. When the song finished we went back with our friends until it was time to go back home.

As Edward kissed me goodbye in front of my door, he said "It's true, you know."

"What?"

"About the song, the _Lady in red_ lyrics."

"What do you mean? Which part?"

"I love you."

A couldn't avoid a huge smile to appear on my face "Really?"

"Really." I could only manage to kiss him until it was obvious that we either stopped or Charlie would come out with his gun.

After Prom, summer holidays officially started. I picked up more hours at work, which meant that I was working all afternoons from Tuesday to Saturday, their most busy hours. It is amazing the number of tourists that our region attracted during the summer months. That meant that days were busier than before but it also meant that Jessica and Edward couldn't come as often as before. On the positive side, my pay had been increased proportionally with the work load, and now I was making some decent money. We usually spent our free time in my house if we wanted to be alone otherwise we stayed in his house. Esme had consistent work hours but Carlisle's were erratic as doctor's hours are, and we never knew for sure if he would be at home. Time to time we would go to Port Angeles just to do something different. In spite of all the hours I was working, our rhythm was more relaxed than during the school year and I still managed to rest.

June 19th is Edward's birthday. Turning 18 is a special day, and I decided to take the day off in order to spend all my time with him. He told me that we could do whatever I wanted all day long except for dinner which would be with his parents in a restaurant, of course I was invited. It was my job to find out what to do. I played with different ideas but at the end I decided that we would have a lazy morning and we would go for a picnic in our meadow. That was still one of our favorite activities. I made sure I prepared all of his favorite food, and because it was his birthday he got a meal without veggies.

After eating our sandwiches and cupcakes I give him his present, it's a small rectangular box. I've learned that his car was his parents' present but he just received it in advance. I decided to give him a silver keychain. It was a simple E shaped keychain, but I asked the store to have _Bella_ engraved on the back. Edward seems to really like it. "Thanks," he says "you shouldn't have, but I like. I will now have you coming with me everywhere I go."

"That's fine. It's your birthday present, of course I should give you something."

Once we are done with the food, we pack everything back in the bag and lie down on the cover as we always do. And as always, we start kissing as I climb on top of him while I straddle his hips, one of my favorite positions. I like being able to feel him as I want, and while I have no complex about lying on top of him he is always scared to squash me. As always, very quickly sweet kisses get deeper and longer, soft strokes and caresses transform into under the clothes touching. After a while I stop and panting I ask "Edward, do you have something else planned today?"

"No, I didn't plan anything. I told you I was all yours except for dinner when you will have to share me with my parents." He is as out of breath as I am and his cheeks are tinged pink. I love seeing him aroused like this.

"Well, I have a confession. In fact, the keychain is not your present." I say shyly.

"It isn't?"

"No, it's a public present for when people ask you what I gave you, but that isn't what I want to give you today."

I see his eyes open as he starts understanding what I mean. "Do you mean that today is later? Are you sure?"

"I'm very sure." He kisses me again but turns us until he is on top of me.

"Here and now?" I just nod. "When did you decide this?"

"A while ago…"

"Is this why you were in such a hurry to go to the doctor?" He now is smiling like a fool.

"Maybe" I answer raising my eyebrows faking innocence.

"Did I ever tell you that I love you?"

"Mm, maybe. Did I ever tell you that I love you?"

"It depends, it's the first time you tell me while you are awake, even if you still didn't say it properly, but there have been a few while you slept." He kisses me before adding "Anyway, you didn't need to say it, I just knew it, but I love hearing it. Are you nervous? Because I am nervous."

"A little, but I think I would be more nervous if I were you. The pressure is on you, first times and all that. For us girls, it's kind of easy, you on the other hand have to impress me with your performance. Or am I wrong?" I tease him.

"Great, that's what I call support. Thanks for making it worst." I just touch his face for a while enjoying the anticipation. After a while I say "Edward, I love you. Don't worry, I just want to be with you. It's only us."

"Thanks, but let's take care of you first, just in case."

I have discussed this many times with Jessica and knew that the first time wouldn't be pleasurable for me. Edward and I had practiced a lot since that first time in his bed. By now, he knew how and where I liked to be touched, how I liked to be kissed and in no time I am trembling in his arms. I could feel Edward more than ready to be inside of me. When he starts pushing slowly, the sensation of him entering me is amazing, until suddenly it isn't anymore. I must have flinched because he stops immediately "I am sorry. You are so tight…" His voice is strained. "I don't know how to do it to make it easier for you."

"Edward, just do it."

Even if I knew it would hurt, I wasn't prepared for that amount pain. "I'm sorry." Edward says once he is completely in. He strokes my face while I get used to the sensation.

After a while it gets better "It's OK now."

As he starts moving inside me, the pain starts to abate and it all becomes very enjoyable. Very quickly he says "This is too good, I can't hold it anymore."

"Edward, this for you."

He closes his eyes and I kiss him as he lets go. We stay like this for a few minutes until his breathing is back to normal. He then kisses me deeply as he says "This is definitely the best present ever. Happy birthday to me! However, I don't know how I'll ever face you dad again. I'm sure he'll know the second he sees me."

"Don't worry about that, Charlie is convinced that we have been doing this since spring break."

Making love with Edward was great. It turned out to be mostly what I expected, but at the same time it was so much more. It's difficult to know what made it so special but for sure our relationship became much deeper after that day. Also, after that day our need for each other seemed to increase, and we spent many mornings exploring different possibilities.

Edward's birthday dinner was great. Esme and Carlisle took us to a fancy restaurant. We spent all dinner holding hands and every so often one of us would smile. The good thing is this wasn't a different behavior for us, so I'm sure his parents never knew what happened that afternoon in a meadow. Edward would show proudly his keychain to anyone who asked what he got for his birthday. To hear him talking about it, you would expect it to have awesome powers as it would in a James Bond movie.


	7. Chapter 7

**As always, thanks to my reviewers. Now things will start accelerating.**

Chapter 7

August 2005

In July I met Jasper. Jasper Cullen is Edward's cousin. He is a few months older than Edward and lives in Seattle. Just like Edward, he is an only child, so the cousins were more like brothers. Apparently, they spent a lot of time together when Edward lived in Seattle, they went to the same school, and they were in each other's houses during weekends and holidays. But since Edward moved here, Jasper comes to spend July in Fork while Edward goes in August to Seattle. Honestly, I was not very happy about Jasper coming to Forks. I am not a social person and I was scared Jasper and I would not like each other. I mean, the Cullens are great, but they obviously run in different circles than I do. Also, I was sure his visit would mean less time with Edward. I was still working many hours and I didn't want to sacrifice any of my Edward time. But, I shouldn't have worried, Jasper was great.

I'll always remember the day I met him. We were in Edward's home with Esme and Carlisle waiting for him to arrive. He was driving from Seattle to Forks and had called to let us know he was close. He entered the house as if he lived there and hugged everyone, me included. He had a nice thing to say to each of us. When it was my turn he simply said, "You must be Bella, my new little cousin. Such a pleasure to meet you. Dumb ass there can't stop talking about you."

Then he commented to Edward, "Beautiful girl, man! We were starting to believe you had imagined her, but Aunt Esme confirmed there was a girl who was patient enough to put up with your bullshit."

"Jasper!"

"Sorry Esme, I'll try to control my vocabulary."

After that, I was dragged upstairs to the spare bedroom which was Jasper's when he visited. Edward and I sat on the bed as Jasper put away his things and they catched up about the rest of the family. Once he was done Jasper told me "So Bella, first I would like to say 'Thank you'."

"For what?"

"Well, for popping his cherry. It was time."

I'm not sure I had ever been in a more embarrassing situation, I could only hide my red face in Edward chest.

"Jasper, leave her alone!"

"Oh, please, you wouldn't tell, I have an on-going bet with Alice, that I just lost by the way, and I needed to have my answer."

"Bella, I swear to you that I never talk about anything of importance with that pig." Edward tried to reassure me while hugging me back.

Jasper laughed, "Don't worry Bella, you're cool. Anyway, Alice will love you."

"Who's Alice?"

"She's my girl." So simply. It appears that Alice was Jasper's neighbor but also his girlfriend since forever.

"So, I'll tell Alice that you exist and she'll make sure to inform Tanya."

"Very funny Jasper!" This time it was Edward who interrupted.

"Who is Tanya?"

"Nobody." Edward said while Jasper explained, "Tanya is my neighbor from the other side. You see, she has always had a huge crush on your boy. She is convinced that Eddie boy here is for her. In her mind, we are two couples, Alice and I, and Tanya and Edward. But your boy was never interested. Tanya, on the other hand seems to have trouble understanding the concept, what can I say? She is persistent. Also, since he never had a girlfriend before, she saw that as a sign that he was waiting to return to Seattle to be with her. Alice doesn't like her attitude towards Edward, she will make sure to tell her that he is very much taken!"

And that was the moment I discovered I'm a jealous person. Just the name Tanya was enough to make me see green. I knew it was irrational so I tried to control it, but let's be honest, I couldn't avoid feeling that way. I could rationalize that Edward didn't want her, that Jasper and even Alice assured me that there never was something between them and it was because Edward was not interested. I anyway felt I could hit her if I ever saw her. I've seen girls interested in Edward, half of Forks high wanted him, but for some reason Tanya was different. Maybe it was because I had never met her.

Jasper and Edward could have passed as brothers. They had very similar features like the nose or the mouth. However, Jasper had inherited what apparently are Cullen trademarks: blond hair and blue eyes. He could have been Carlisle's son, so much they looked alike. Also in typical Cullen tradition, Jasper was planning to study law at Harvard. He had been accepted and would be starting this fall semester. He was really excited and would speak about it all the time. After spending time with him, I realized that just as for Edward, law was his choice, not a family obligation. Jasper's other passion was history, it was interesting to hear him talking about it! He loved the American Revolution and knew as much as any history professor. He also shared Edward's love for music, which resulted in whole afternoons listening to this or that group while they discussed about their music. They would sometimes play for me, either both playing the guitar or Edward would play the piano and Jasper the guitar. They told me that at one point they considered forming a band, but Edward's coming to Forks had put a stop to that idea.

As I said, Jasper was great. He gave us alone time in the morning but he came to have lunch with us at my house. So now I had to fight with the two of them about eating habits. Yes, they were very much alike. While I worked they ran. Apparently Jasper was also a runner, it was him who had introduced Edward to the sport. Then after work, I spent my time with the Cullen boys. Jasper would tease me like a little sister about my lack of skills playing video games, or whatever activity we would be doing. I think he did it so Edward would defend me which gave them an excuse to 'fight'. They called each other names such as Shaggy for Jasper while Edward was Redhead. Edward also loved to tease me, but I think he considered it his right, and whenever someone else (aka Jasper) did it, he felt the need to intervene. On Sundays I joined them on their run.

The first time the three of us went together Jasper bitched continuously about me not going fast enough or getting tired so fast. "What's the point of eating all that green stuff if you have no muscles?"

"I don't eat only green stuff. I eat lots of meat also. I just do it to piss you." I panted.

Jasper laughed at me even harder. The second Sunday I decided I wouldn't go with them. I wasn't sure if Jasper was teasing me for real or if I was bothering him. I pretended I was tired and didn't want to run. Edward gave me the puppy eyes but he was ready to let me stay home. To my surprise, it was Jasper who insisted for me to come along. "Please Bella, you have to come, Edward and I will walk so you can go at your pace. I mean, it's not as if we really ran last week, but you are part of the group. Please come."

So, after that I went with them every Sunday. Jasper would continue to make fun about me running like a girl or whatever other cliché idea he got. I took all of it like a champion and when possible answered back. In Jasper's world, only people he liked deserved to be teased, so if he gave me a hard time it was good.

Jasper also spent long hours on the phone with Alice. He made me speak with her regularly since we were to be related, and I was starting to like my interactions with her. She was a force to be reckoned with. Alice was going to start going to a fashion school in New York. Apparently she loved fashion and what other place to go except the big apple? I didn't even know you could study that. She was so different than me, she would babble about fashion week and Louboutin, whatever that was! But she was very patient with me and never dismissed me.

By the time Jasper left, it was almost August. Time was passing too fast. My mom was insisting that I should go spend two weeks with her. I really missed her and I wanted to see her new home in Florida where she had recently moved. But two weeks without Edward was daunting. We discussed it for a long time and at the end we agreed that I would go spend two weeks with my mom beginning of August, so I would have time to be back and get ready for school. While I was in Florida, Edward would go to Jasper's house, but he wouldn't stay the whole month, just the two weeks. Neither of us wanted to be apart for so long. Renee also wanted to meet Edward, so we arranged for Edward to fly South during my last weekend with my mom, and we would fly back together. Once everything was settled, I realized that I was very excited to see my mom again. But also, about this opportunity to do something different with Edward. It wasn't that we didn't have fun, but this was a new experience to share with him.

The day before my departure I was in a bad mood. Officially I was already missing Edward. That was true, but that made me sad. However, I was pissed that Edward would spend two weeks with Tanya. I knew logically that I shouldn't worry. Edward wasn't going to spend the time with Tanya but with Jasper. But I couldn't avoid being jealous. There's a reason it's called the green-eyed monster. What was infuriating me even worst was that instead of enjoying my last hours with Edward I was being pissy.

Finally Edward asked, "What's happening?"

I looked at him "Mm, Tanya…"

"Please, tell me you are not jealous!" But I could see a huge grin on his face. He was enjoying this. "Bella, you know that I'm yours, only yours."

"I know, but what can I say?"

"It's okay, you don't have to worry. Let me show you." And he kissed me until I forgot that Tanya existed.

That night Alice called me to wish me a safe travel. She gave me tons of recommendations about where to shop in Florida and what to pack. She had me laughing in no time. Just before hanging she said "Don't worry about anything." I immediately understood what she was really referring to. Obviously it wasn't about my trip but Tanya.

Edward took me to the airport in Seattle. After my flight left he would go to Jasper's. I spent every available second until it was a matter of I either went or I missed my plane in his arms trying to get as much of him as possible. As I was going to cross security, Edward grabbed my hand and gave me his iPod. "This is for you, I wanted to give you something for you to think about me. There's a Bella playlist for you." I must have frowned or something because he quickly added "I'm not giving it to you, you're just borrowing, so better take good care of it Swan or there will be hell to pay."

I gave him a last kiss and ran away to catch my flight. Once in the plane I started listening to my playlist. Of course, the first song was _Lady in Red_ followed by songs that he either knew I liked or that were meaningful for us as we had listen to them in a particular day. No matter what, I missed him.

Being with my mom was great. She was as crazy as always but definitely happy with her new life. She kept me busy but I couldn't avoid thinking about him and missing him. I would listen to his iPod constantly.

The first minute we were alone, Renee grilled me about Edward. There was no escaping this time. If I loved him, if he loved me, the scary question about being safe. The good thing about her is that she isn't your classical mother, more like an older sister. I was dreading the moment she would decide that I needed some grown up advice. Luckily, it never occurred to her. That would have been awkward.

Florida was as different from Washington as you can get. It was hot and humid, almost unbearably so. We would spend many hours on the beach, what used to be a favorite activity of mine. But without him I was not enjoying it. I would happily exchange any beach day just to be with him. As always my mom was so busy with her own life that she didn't realize how unhappy I was. She was trying to convince me to come spend my senior year with her. _Really? I had just left._ She couldn't understand how I would prefer rainy Forks to the sunshine state. In her mind, going to the beach would make me see why I should move back with her. The only thing she managed to show me was that I couldn't live without Edward and that I wouldn't stand it if each of us were to live apart. Suddenly my plans for after high school were less solid. I started questioning what I should do. I also realized that if I didn't get the scholarship I could not go to Stanford. In that case I would be free to go wherever I wanted, including Boston where I could find a job.

Edward and I talked often on the phone. Apparently he was missing me and was counting the days until we would see each other again, just like me. Each day he told me what they had done and I often spoke a few minutes with Jasper or Alice. Each time one of them mentioned Tanya, I would flinch but I didn't say anything because I preferred to know what was going on. I was happy to realize that nothing was going on with Tanya. Jasper and Alice complained that Edward was mopping around because I wasn't there. I couldn't avoid smiling each time that one of them told me that Edward was unhappy without me.

And then finally today, it's time to go pick him up. I am overexcited but I'm trying to remain as calm as possible. The second I see him coming through the arrival's door, all disappear around me and I can only see his eyes. The first thing we do is hug. I try breathing him once again as much as possible. Finally I'm home. In the meantime Edward is whispering sweet things on my ear. After a while he squeezes me to signal that we have to go. I give him a small kiss on his lips and I turn around to face my mom, "Mom, this is Edward."

He let's go of me long enough to shake my mom's hand but he immediately grabs my hand again, as if I were to go anywhere without him. "Mrs. Dwyer, nice to meet you."

"You can call me Renee. Nice meeting you Edward. Do you have something else or just that bag?"

"Just this, Ma'am."

"Okay kids, let's go."

While driving, we chat about our weeks apart while Renee points things of interest. Once in the house she surprises us by deciding "If you guys are good, you can share Bella's bedroom. We don't have any spare anyway and you're old enough." I had never thought about where Edward would sleep, but this was great.

I immediately take him upstairs to drop his things. The second we are alone, we kiss as we like it long and deep. I had missed him so much. The first thing I do is return his iPod. That, for me is a meaningful gesture, symbolizing that we are once again together. Edward decides to take a shower, so I go down to help Renee with dinner.

"Where's him?"

"He's taking a shower."

"Oh, Bella, so handsome! Forget about coming here next year. There's no way you are coming here. I can see perfectly that you two have something special. It's amazing to see how you interact together. I'm so happy for you, Baby. " Just like that my mom shows me that she is sometimes much more observant than what she appears.

Dinner is great. While we eat grilled fish, Renee grills Edward about his plans for the future. Once she is happy, he starts a long discussion with Phil about baseball. Men and their games!

The rest of the weekend is bliss. We go to the beach, but with Edward by my side, I can finally enjoy it. We do as many touristy things as possible and we enjoy our nights together. I'm not sure we manage to sleep more than a couple of hours each night. But who cares? We can always nap on the beach or there will be enough time for that later, once we are back in Forks.

It is with mixed feelings that I go back to Forks. In one hand, I'm happy to go back to my routine. But, going back means that the school year is about to start and once again I will be swamped with work. Having earned a good SAT score is only part of the deal. We now have to apply for college and I have to keep up with my grades to secure the scholarship that I have been coveting for so long. However, as the time passes, I am less and less certain of what I want.


	8. Chapter 8

**As usual, many thanks to my usual and faithful reviewers. I would like to thank Marlane for sharing her thought with me.**

Chapter 8

May 2006

Graduation day. This day has been marked in red in my calendar for so long. I used to dream about it. Now it's also a day I came to dread as my glorious dreams have changed to become nightmares.

Immediately after coming back from Florida, the new school year started. I was once again swamped with homework, work and college applications. I needed to keep up my excellent grades if I wanted to get the scholarship. In my case, being accepted to Stanford was not the end of the journey, but just another step on the long path that I was set into. I could lose the scholarship at any point if my grades dropped, I wouldn't have the final answer until after finals. But, it was definitely the end of a journey, whatever happened after the end of the semester a new era would begin for me.

In spite of my doubts about my future, I would fight for the opportunity to choose. Some people complain about having choices. It's like going to the ice-cream parlor where there are so many flavors. How do we choose only two for our cone? Whereas if we only have one tub at home, there are no regrets about the flavor we eat. It would be so much easier if I didn't get the scholarship! Then I wouldn't need to choose between staying with Edward and going to Stanford. However, I personally prefer to have options. I would rather have to turn down the scholarship than to have failed. That's just how I am. So, in spite of my growing doubts I made sure that I would have all my options available. Hard work has always paid in my case.

Those months were marked by very few events out of the ordinary. Regretfully, the first one was my birthday. From a very young age I stopped counting the days until my birthday. Once again, it might be the result of my need to grow up sooner than normal while I lived with Renee, but the fact is that since I turned eleven, I fear my birthday.

After all these years, Charlie knew me well and just marked the event with a 'Happy birthday' kiss and a camera. The camera was a shared present from my mother and him. Apparently they felt my life was changing and they wanted to be sure I would record each tiny step so I would be able to relive this process once I had settled into the next step of my journey. The Cullens also wanted an opportunity to show their affection for my birthday. Esme insisted that I would need to start changing my wardrobe, maybe not every day, but apparently in college there would be events for which I would need something more than jeans and hoodies. Esme and I spent a whole Saturday together trying things and shopping until we had what she considered enough. Secretly, I loved my new grown-up clothes, but I loved much more the time that I spent with her. Being with Esme was like being wrapped in a blanket of love, it felt warm and light.

Edward on the other hand was a little more difficult. After long discussions, he agreed to just take me out for dinner to my favorite restaurant in Port Angeles. We had discovered _Bella Italia _by mistake one day during the summer when we were strolling and got caught by an impromptu rain. After dinner, we went to our spot by the sea, where Edward produced a small box with a silver paper wrap. Just the box was beautiful and I was scared of what it might content. Unmistakably, it was a ring box.

"It's not that one, not yet, don't worry."

"I'm not worry about the content, just the timing." I said as I opened the box.

"That's good to know. Make sure I have good timing, noted." He said to himself, then he added, "Love, I know that you don't like presents, but it's your birthday. You gave me two precious things for mine. One is a material object but also a meaningful symbol. You gave me a keychain so I would have a part of you with me every day. I also like to think that I'll always keep there the key to your heart. The second present is immaterial and as such there is no way I can honestly describe its meaning to me. I would like to point out that it was also the first time you told me you loved me. I know that you don't count that as a present, but I do. You made my 18th birthday unforgettable on so many levels!"

The box contained a very simple silver ring. I just loved it, it was definitely me. It was flat, thicker than a band with two waves, like the heartbeat monitored by an electrocardiogram. "It's my way of giving you my heart. You already have it, but the ring is the symbol. You are my life now." I perfectly understood the meaning of that sentence. Edward's life was now mine, he was my top priority. His needs were more important than mine. For example, I would go to his track meetings even if it meant that I had to cut on my sleep time in order to complete my homework, because I knew he liked when I was there. He never asked, but I knew it, and it was given with love.

After my birthday nothing major happened until the college acceptances started to trickle in. Edward received his acceptance to Harvard first. No one was surprised, he had the grades and the family connection. Mine came a week later. Once again, no one was surprised. Esme had decided that we wouldn't celebrate Edward's acceptance until we got mine, she was that confident. Receiving those big envelopes was a major deal for both of us. Edward's hands were trembling when he had to open his. I had my stomach doing summersaults for his and mine. College acceptance celebration in Esme's world meant over the top restaurant for both families and more presents. Edward got a watch while I received a laptop. She was unbelievable. I suspected that she was just finding excuses to give me all the things she felt I needed and couldn't afford. But my relationship with the Cullens was so deep, that for me it was like receiving a present from my parents, something that you don't question since you know it is out of love. You just say _Thank you_.

My acceptance to Stanford obviously depended on the scholarship. But as both were from the same institution it meant that unless something happened, the spot was mine. I had to fill all paperwork to secure my place but I wasn't required to submit any payment. The deal was that sweet!

The next occasion to celebrate was Christmas. Renee wanted me to spend my holidays in Florida, but I put my foot down, she was welcome to come to Forks if she wanted to see me. It was unthinkable that I would spend my first Christmas with Edward without him. Even if it meant I wouldn't see her for almost a year, being with Edward was more important. Similarly, Edward refused to go to Seattle as the Cullens did every year. So this winter holidays, the Cullens decided to spend Christmas in Forks.

Esme invited us for dinner for Christmas' Eve. She prepared a feast composed of many dishes and I spent hours in that kitchen helping her with every single detail. Their tradition was to wait until midnight to open presents. Once we were sitting in the Cullen's living room, eating chocolate and waiting for the clock to strike twelve, innocently Esme asked, "What are you doing for New Year's Day, Charlie?"

"Well, in fact I have to work, the police force is so reduced that we get either Christmas or New Year 's Day off."

"Oh, we are going to Seattle for a few days to visit with our family. Since you'll be working, why doesn't Bella come with us?" This came from the left field. I wasn't aware that they were planning on going to Seattle.

"Esme, that's nice of you to invite Bella, but would that be okay with your family?"

"Of course it is. What do you say Bella, would you like to go with us?"

Of course I wanted to go. "Yes, thank you Esme."

"Well, then we leave in two days. Let me know if you need something, Honey." And just like that I had new plans for the rest of the holidays. Obviously, Charlie could see how much the Cullens loved me, and had no concerns when Esme suggested that I could go with them. He knew I would be taken care of. Almost unsurprisingly, a few minutes later Esme gave me a black little dress and shoes. "For New Year's Day celebration," she explained while the others opened their presents, which let me know that she had planned this in advance.

I quickly realized that my perception of Edward's background was very wrong. I knew he came from money but not the extent of it. I'm not sure Jasper's house could be qualified as such, it was more in the realm of a mansion. It was great to see him again and it was almost funny the contrast between his surrounding and his parents with his demeanor and personality. He hugged me and was obviously happy to see me again. However, his mom, a typical socialite, looked me up and down obviously finding me lacking. His father was mostly indifferent. That was the extent of my interaction with them over the seven days I spent in their house. Alice, on the other hand, was great. She obviously came from the same background as Jasper, had Jasper's mother approval, but she immediately treated me like a friend.

Both Jasper and Alice were back from college for Christmas' break and they had lots of things to tell us about their college experience. Alice talked about boutiques, shoes or fashion shows and she didn't care that I was just listening without contributing. Jasper told us about the courses he took and the respective professors, as well as the expectations for freshmen. We spent many days playing tourists in Seattle or just hanging out in Jasper's house. Another nice thing was that even if we had been given different bedrooms, Edward slept with me every night.

Apparently, every year Tanya's family spends the break in Aspen skiing but they always are back for the annual party that Jasper's parents throw. I came to understand that this party was a major event and I was very grateful Esme gave me the dress, otherwise I wouldn't have had anything adequate to wear. The party was all I had suspected and even more. Alice had asked me to get ready with her. By the time we arrived, the party was in full swing. There was people everywhere, all dressed very formally. To my dismay, a red haired goddess was hanging from Edward's arm, drinking his every word, and I would have bet my dress that she also wanted to taste him.

"Please, tell me that is not Tanya!" I begged Alice hoping to be wrong.

"That, my darling Bella, is Tanya." Of course it was Tanya. She was beautiful, had a body to die for and was evidently from the same social status than the Cullens. It was difficult to understand why Edward didn't like her but as soon as he saw me, my favorite smile appeared in his face. As I arrived next to him he took me in his arms whispering how beautiful I was. "Tanya, please let me introduce you to my Bella, Bella this is Tanya."

She just nodded her head, obviously dismissing me as unimportant. "Tanya, it's nice to meet you." Contrary to her, I was polite and had been taught manners.

"That's an interesting ring you have." It was her way of letting me know that I didn't belong.

"Indeed, it is, I gave it to her." Edward answered before I could open my mouth.

"What did it mean already?" Alice feigned curiosity since I had just told her the day before.

"It means that I gave her my heart and that it beats for her."

"Aww, so sweet, Edward. Who knew he had it in him, isn't it Tanya?"

"Indeed, very sweet."

Tanya looked me from head to toe and completely ignored me for the rest of the night. After a while Edward took me to meet his grandparents. I was nicely surprised that not only they were nice but they were impressed about the scholarship I was coveting. Edward's grandfather was very aware of the privilege that it meant but also the high standards needed just to be taken in consideration.

The only new things during the second half of the year were the nightmares. As the semester advanced my nightmares got more frequent. In all of them, Edward and I were over. Often it was my decision but every single time I ended asking myself how I had let that happen. I always felt relieved waking up and realizing that they were just bad dreams. However, I couldn't avoid feeling like they were premonitory dreams. My subconscious was obviously telling me that if I continued in the path I was, there would be no tomorrow for Edward and me. I never talked about them with Edward. I took them as a symbol of my insecurities.

I continued working hard all year long and studying hard for the exams. My school results were excellent and earlier than expected I received an email letting me know that unless a major failure during my finals the scholarship was mine. I was asked to reply ASAP that I accepted the scholarship, otherwise it would go to somebody else. I should have been overjoyed. It was the final achievement after years of hard work. But I wasn't. I was obviously proud of myself and could not avoid smiling at my computer screen, but something was definitely not right. I filled out all paperwork but I couldn't press the send button. I didn't tell anybody about this new development since I wanted to be able to think things through. Reality was that my life now belonged next to Edward's. I couldn't imagine living in different sides of the country. We were young and even if we loved each other, our lives would naturally drift apart and one day we would be completely different persons. I knew what I wanted in life but if the choice was between being alone and a lawyer, or staying with him and then figuring out something different, I chose him.

By the end of the school year I was exhausted. My stress level was off charts because of the final exams and THE decision that couldn't be delayed any longer. I was at a breaking point, so worked out that the week after finals and before graduation I was sick. I was virtually knocked out in my bed with a bad ear and throat infection. Carlisle came to see me almost daily but after a few days of good care I was back on my feet.

Regretfully, soon after my recovery, Edward left with his parents to tour Harvard. It was just a couple of days plus the time needed to make the long trip. I felt so alone those days, I was feeling sad and depressed. Edward had stayed with me all the time while I was sick, taking care of me, but for some reason I had the impression that Edward was being somewhat different. Once he was back, my feeling only got worst. He would constantly talk in riddles asking me things such as _What would you sacrifice for love? Was I ready to suffer if I knew my actions would be the best thing for him or us? _Or_ What is your top priority today? _There were many versions of those questions. He was starting to scare me and I was hoping that he was trying to ask me to go with him. Each time I emphasized that he was the most important in my life, that I was ready to sacrifice everything for his happiness. It bothered me that he somehow never asked me to go with him. I know it would have been selfish if he did. But, did that mean that he had never thought about it?

So, today was graduation day, the most expected and dreaded day of my life. I was filled with insecurities about my future, my professional future as well as my relationship with Edward. Since coming back from Harvard, Edward wasn't necessarily cold but definitely not his usual self. I don't know if it was because he could sense my internal turmoil, but I was scared that something had happened while he was away. I asked him and Esme but both assured me that nothing happened.

During the ceremony, I was supposed to deliver the graduation speech and help give diplomas. I was so focused on Edward that I couldn't remember a single thing about the graduation ceremony. I must have said the right things at the right time because everyone congratulated me. Once again, Esme had organized a celebratory lunch in a restaurant including Charlie and me. Nor Edward nor I said a single word the whole time. If I had to guess I would have say that the parents thought it was because of the importance of the moment finally catching up with us. But I knew better. Something was obviously wrong as Edward wouldn't even look at me. However, he kept holding my hand constantly as if he was scared I would run away. I had confirmation that we had reached the denouement when after lunch he asked me to allow him to take me home because he needed to talk to me.


	9. Chapter 9

**Thanks to everyone for your support, particularly to the new reviewers. Many of you are worried about Bella. There are some bad clouds on the horizon for her. **

Chapter 9

May 2006

Edward drove his car but he didn't take me directly home. As he did many times in the past, he stopped in the corner of the street before the last turn on the way to my house. The corner where we used to stop to kiss privately each time he came to pick me up or drop me home. I'll always remember that corner as a happy spot, but I have a feeling this is about to change. The drive was long and short at the same time. I spent all the time looked at him, constantly while he kept my hand in his.

Once parked, Edward turns to look at me. "Bella…"

Silence. He's as beautiful as always. But his eyes are sad, he seems haunted. I still don't know what is going on with him and I'm worried. I first cup his face and he pushes further on my hand, then I grab his hands in mine. "Edward, what's going on? Please tell me Baby."

He takes a deep breath. "Bella, I love you."

I smile. This can't be bad if he loves me. "I love you too."

"Since I met you, I have imagined the rest of my life so many times... You were there, always, at each single step along the way."

I start worrying again, why is he speaking in the past? Something is really wrong. I feel my heart thumping on my chest. There is a hole in my stomach and I'm glad I didn't eat much in the restaurant.

"This isn't working for me anymore. This isn't what I wanted or how I expected things to evolve. But, we can't keep going on like this."

"What is not working for you?"

"Us."

"Why?"

"I won't stand to be separated from you. It won't work."

"I don't want to be separated either. You are the most important thing for me, I'll go with you." As he frowns I quickly add "It's fine, I want to go with you."

"No, Bella. That's not what I need and that certainly isn't what I want." My fears were correct, he doesn't want me.

Tears start falling from his eyes. I'm not sure he realizes he is crying. I just wipe them.

"When I was away visiting Harvard, I realized something. We are too young. We have not lived yet. We have not experienced life. We'll be away, each one with our own distractions. What do you expect from me?"

"I expect you to do whatever you need to do. If you need to be alone, so be it. If you need to explore those distractions and experience life, I can't stop you, I won't stop you. I love you enough to let you go. I honestly thought that you were preparing yourself, and also preparing me, to ask that I turned down the scholarship and that I went with you. I thought I was what you wanted. I thought I was enough. But, I was obviously mistaken. Somewhere in the last months I got something wrong. I would have done it, you know. For you, I would have done anything, I would have gone anywhere."

Tears continue to fall from Edward eyes. He is not sobbing; the tears just continue to fall. I hug him. "Don't be sad. If this is something you need, then it's fine. Do you remember all those questions you asked me? I gave you my answers then, they remain true today: I'm ready to sacrifice anything for love, I'm ready to suffer for you because you are my priority. You don't need to ask me to let you go, I open my arms if that means you'll be happy." While I'm talking to him, I try to imprint in my memory his sent, the feeling of his body. All those sensations that are so familiar now, I'm scared I will forget them. After a while I know I won't be able to remember them. I need to get enough of those to last me a lifetime.

"Bella…" It's more a sad moan than a word.

"Don't worry Edward. I understand. This was too beautiful to be true. Silly me for not seeing things as they were. I should have realized it before. So, what are your plans?" I was really innocent. When something seems too good to be true, it probably is. How many times I had found myself thinking that I felt like my life was a fairy tale? How many times did I think that I was the luckiest girl in the world? More importantly, how many times I dreamed of this moment. It's like a train with broken brakes, unstoppable. I saw it coming so long ago, but there was nothing I could have done to avoid being here, today.

"I'm leaving right now, I'll go to Jasper's house today or I'll continue driving until I get tired, I'm not sure yet. I'm heading East, I'm going to Harvard. Jasper is staying there over the summer so I'll be with him. I might try to start school earlier."

"What about your stuff?"

"I have everything packed, in my trunk. I'll ask my parents to send me things if I need anything."

"If you are packed, it means that this was planned. When did you made up your mind?"

"As I said, it happened during the trip to visit Harvard. But, I made my mind yesterday evening after dropping you home. I came to realize that it was the only solution."

"So, this is bye then. You know, I also had imagined the rest of my life many times. You also were there constantly, at each single step along the way. I hope you'll find what you're looking for. You are not only breaking my heart, you're also robing me of my future, my chosen future. But, you must do what needs to be done. If you need to live your life, try new distractions, then just do it. I wouldn't want it any other way. I'm not sure what I'll do. YOU were my future, YOU were my plan." Now, I have nothing. I'm empty. He is my best friend, my only friend. He knows my dreams and my secrets, he is the one with whom I shared everything. He is now gone.

"No Bella. How can't you see it? You have so much. You have a plan. I want it to be as if you had never met me. Go to Stanford, get your dream."

I could have laughed if I wasn't hurting so much. My plan, go to Stanford. That had been my plan, my focus for so many years. I fought for that and I succeeded. But it wasn't my plan anymore, it wasn't my priority. I wasn't even sure that I had sent the acceptance letter. I've never told him that I already had the scholarship and that it was mine once I sent the acceptance letter. Of course I don't tell him that now, I don't want his pity. It would be comical if I lost the scholarship not because I failed, but because I didn't send the acceptance package on time. That is my kind of luck! I'll have to work hard to make it my plan once again, if it's still possible. Right now, it's as good as anything else.

"As if I had never met you? There's no way. You might be taking my future away with you, but I'll not allow you to rob me of my past. Whether you like it not, you were the best thing that ever happened to me. I don't want to forget anything, I won't forget you. I just wish there was a way to justify this pain. You tell me that you love me and I love you too. It's crazy! Why am I suffering if we both love each other?"

"Bella" This time he hugs me.

"In my heart, there is always going to be an Edward who looks at me marveling as if I was a gift. That Edward will always be my Edward and he will always remain in my heart, but that Edward stopped existing. It's as if he was dead." At least that justifies my pain, I'm mourning him. "Then, there's this other Edward who is now in front of me. I honestly don't know him, since my Edward would never do this to me. In fact, I just realized that I really don't care what happens to you from now on, you are a different person, one with whom I have nothing in common, one with whom I have never shared anything. I'm sorry."

"That's fine. I understand and you're right."

"I just want to say one last thing to my Edward before he disappears forever, then I'll let you go on with your life: I love you and I always will, good luck. Don't cry for me, I'll be all right, as I have always been."

I give him one last kiss and get out of his car. In the middle of the chaos in my head, I'm proud that I managed to stay strong. I didn't cry. However, after I turn around the corner, I can't avoid the tears anymore. I feel my world crumbling down, everything is getting darker by the second, and my focus becomes reaching my home while I can still stand.

I'm glad to realize that Charlie isn't home. I don't want to talk right now, I want to forget, stop my brain. I want to be alone. I am asking so much that I go to take a shower. But when I'm under the water I can't breathe. I don't know how long I stay under the water until I am able to breathe again and control my body.

By the time I'm out of the shower, I hear Charlie moving downstairs. Right now, I managed to put myself I'm in crisis mode: I don't feel anything. There is a list in my brain of things that need to be accomplished before I can let out my pain. First thing in the list is check on Stanford. I need to get out of Forks, everything in this town will remind me him, of us together, of our good times. If it's not Stanford I'll need to find somewhere else quickly. As I log into the scholarship server I feel like crying again. How did my life take such a radical turn in such a short time? Until recently, I was on top of the world, now I lost Edward, and even if I succeeded to secure the scholarship I might have lost it also. But, to my relief, according to the server information, the application was sent and received. Everything is in order; I can go whenever I want. It will take me a week to be ready to go. Yesterday was my last day at Newton's. I had decided to stop working so I would have all my time available to spend it with Edward. My days are free to prepare my trip. I send an email to financial aid and admissions letting them know when to expect me and I go downstairs to talk to Charlie.

"How are you kid?"

"I'm fine. Edward and I are over. I got the scholarship, I'm leaving in a week. I decided to start school in summer, why waste a semester when I have nothing else to do?"

"Isabella, are you okay?" I can see that Charlie is concerned.

I manage a smile, "I'm fine dad. I'm going to sleep, I'm tires and I'll be busy this week."

As I was leaving the kitchen, the phone rings. It's Esme, "Bella, honey, what happened? Edward just called saying that he's headed to Harvard. He just left."

"Yes, that's what I know."

"But why? I thought you loved him."

"I love him, Esme. I didn't do anything, he broke up with me."

"Bella, that's not possible. He loves you. Why would he do that?"

"I don't know. Maybe he didn't love me enough."

"How are you?"

"I'm fine. I got the scholarship. I'm leaving in a week."

"Oh, Bella, I knew you would get it. Come tomorrow to see me."

"Esme, please don't take it wrong, but I can't see you. I can't talk to any of you. Sorry."

"I understand, Bella. When you're ready, please call me. I'm sure everything will get better and I'll see you again. Take care of yourself, Darling."

Once alone and in the dark I let all my pain get out. I cry for hours in silence. I'm more a suffer-in-silence kind of person. The only one I would have wanted with me was somewhere in his journey to a different life without enough space in it for me.

**AN: Sad, I know. Don't get mad at him, we'll see him again in after Bella does some growing up. You'll have your chance to hear all his reasons. Please ask me if you have questions, I'll answer them.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Thanks to all my awesome supporters. You guys are great! In case you have not realized it yet, we are following canon with "some" deviations. Let me know what you think. **

Chapter 10

June 2006

Only two activities occupy my time the following week, sleeping and getting ready to go. I become a recluse and avoid getting out of the house as much as I can. Everything in this town reminds me of him. People are so used to see us together that the first thing they ask when they see me alone is about him. I just tell them he's gone to college. But each time is like having a knife cut through me. I don't talk about what happened. I don't want to say the words and I don't want to see the pity. I have enough of that on my own.

Sleeping is great. When I am sleeping, I am not in pain. When I am sleeping, I can talk to him. When I am sleeping I can be with him. Every night I dream we are together again. Every night I'm happy that the breakup never happened, it was just one of my many nightmares. However, every morning I wake up to the reality. There are always a couple of minutes at the beginning during which I think it was a nightmare and I'm happy I'll see him soon. But, as soon as my brain wakes up completely, I realize what part was the dream and what part was reality. But for a few hours, I'm happy again. So when I'm not getting ready to leave Forks, I'm sleeping. The stress of the last weeks and the weariness of the last four years catch up with me and I am able to sleep as much as I want.

Getting ready to go doesn't take me too long. I have very few possessions. I just need to pack my clothes and books. I don't know how he thought it could be as if I had never met him. All my things remind me of him. My ring is still on my finger and will stay there. The IPod he gave me as a Christmas present still has the Bella and the running playlists as well as the lullaby he composed for me for Valentine's Day. I still have the collection of notes we passed in class. Some of them have down-to-Earth messages such as "What are we having for lunch today?", others are sweet declarations "Have I told you today how much I love you?", while other are less innocent "I really feel like getting messy today." I have my camera filled with pictures of us. And I still have several of his sweaters and T-shirts. At the beginning, he would give them because I was cold. Later he realized I purposely wasn't returning his clothes. I had to confess that I liked to sleep on them so I could smell him all night. After that he started swapping clothes, he would wear a T-shirt of a short time, to scent it as he would call it, and then give it to me.

Being able to leave as soon as possible had another advantage. I would be able to stop pretending. Stop pretending that I'm okay, stop pretending that I'm not hurting, stop pretending that I don't wake up crying, and stop pretending that I eat. This last problem has Charlie particularly worried. I spent the first couple of days without eating. It wasn't purposely but I couldn't swallow my food. I have lost some weight so now I am trying to eat, but my stomach refuses to keep the majority of it. Going away will also allow me to stop pretending I'm no doing weird things, like watching the same movie over and over. He loved Gattaca while I thought it was an okay movie. He offered me the DVD because he thought I should watch it again to appreciate its value, and now I can't stop watching it. Not because it reminds me of him, but because I don't think while it's playing. It's like a reflex, as soon as the movie starts my brain unplugs until the end of it. So, when I am not sleeping, I am watching that movie. I also like the love story, it gives me hope. I'm still not sure hope for what. Charlie realized my behavior, so now I have to stop the movie before he comes home. I'm sure he is ready to call a shrink any time now.

Five days after THE DAY, Charlie takes me car shopping. According to him it was a graduation present. He would not have me riding my truck to California. He was worried that even if the truck managed to complete the trip, it could break at any time while I was far away and I would be alone to deal with it. I didn't want him to spend his money on a car, but he definitely had a point. What would I do if my truck died suddenly, which might happen at any time? We end up buying a blue car. I'm not sure the brand or model, for me they are all the same.

By the end of the second week of June, my new car is loaded and I am ready to start a new episode of my life. I'm not doing much better but I decided that I have until I reach Stanford to wallow in self-pity. Once there, I could be sad but I wouldn't allow myself to stay so low. One way or the other I would get out of this. I also decided that I would give myself one year of mourning, after that HE would be history. Obviously the rational part of my brain is still working, now I need to put the rest of myself together to continue with my life. Sometimes I am really mad at myself. How had I allowed this to happen? I had seen it coming so long ago, why didn't I change something? Other times I am mad at him. Why couldn't he love me as he said he did? Why wasn't I enough for him? In those occasions I want to be done with him immediately, but I know I need time.

Several times during the two-day trip, I find myself making silly bargains. I know he liked my long hair so I promise to myself I won't cut it until he comes back. Then, when I realize what is going on, I'm ready to stop at the first salon to have it cut. Other times, I find myself looking for symbols; it could be based on the weather, a graffiti or the songs on the radio. And when you are looking for signs you see them everywhere. It seems that hearts is the favorite shape to draw. There is an Edward in two gas stations where I stop to refill. I see signs for several candidates for office named Edward. I also see couples everywhere. Those are particularly difficult to watch.

Other than that the trip goes smoothly. I arrive to Stanford without any problems ready to complete all the paperwork. My first stop is Financial Aid. Everyone congratulates me on the scholarship. It's difficult to pretend I am happy but I succeed showing how proud of myself I am.

Summer session starts in a week, which gives me enough time to settle in my new dorm and get to know the university. I also try to visit the city since I'm planning on focusing as much as I can on my schoolwork. The bulk of the students are gone but there are still lots of people on campus and I am aware that they are having fun and partying. I prefer to stay alone reading or watching TV.

My dorm is very simple and I don't need anything in particular. While other people decorate their rooms, my remains untouched. I only unpack my clothes and books. Later I might add some pictures but not yet. My computer is filled with them, but I'm not strong enough.

The change of environment and being surrounded by people who don't know him help me a lot. However, each time I meet a new person and I'm asked if I have a boyfriend my world crumbles again.

Certainly, being alone is easier. I don't have to pretend anymore. However, I realize that Charlie's presence, even if silent, was very reassuring. Now, I'm alone, truly alone. Renee was sad when I told her about the end of my relationship but she seems unconcerned. My interactions with her remain unchanged. Charlie on the other hand is obviously worried. He calls me daily. Even if we mainly stay silent on the phone, those five minutes are still an anchor to reality. I try to sound excited and have some little anecdote about the campus but I'm not as successful as I want. Every day before hanging, Charlie says "Say the words and I'll be there or you can come home for a few days."

Classes start on June 19th. I'm glad I have something to do on this special date. How different was my life one year ago! I had started thinking about his birthday before the end of high school. I had never imagined this scenario. Today, I think about him constantly. I want to call him but I don't do it. If he wants to talk to me he knows how to contact me.

Classes are okay. Not as challenging as I would have wanted. However, between all the AP courses and the full summer load I am getting ahead and might be able to graduate earlier than expected. The professors are not as I had imagined them. Some are young but all of them are very dynamic and seem happy to be in a classroom in spite of being summer. Dr. Bree Tanner, the instructor of my chemistry class, seems very nice. She has openings in her laboratory for undergraduate research. Since I want to be as busy as I can I talk to her and I'm allowed to enroll for research credits. I always liked chemistry, so I hope I'll have fun working with her.

I have barely talked to anyone since my arrival. I barely say _Hi_ to my neighbors and I can't even remember their names. When I'm not in class, I'm alone. I continue to sleep as much and eat as little as before. As soon as I feel better I'll start running again. It's amazing how good it feels afterward. I would have never imagined that one day I would miss running.

By the end of the second week of classes, I decide to see a doctor. I'm tired of feeling down. I want to start feeling normal again, and for that I need to be able to eat and sleep normally. I'm hoping that if I take some kind of vitamins or something I'll start having more energy and I'll gain some kind of normalcy.

So, as soon as I'm done with classes I go to the medical center. The medical center is empty but I'm sure that during fall and spring semesters there'll be more people everywhere. Right now I feel very comfortable in the empty campus. I'm not looking forward to the beginning of the regular school year.

The nurse gives me the typical paperwork to fill out in which they ask you everything from your name up to questions impossible to answer. I wouldn't be surprised to be asked how many moles I have. When I'm asked the reasons for my visit, I hesitate not sure of what to write. I finally choose digestive problems.

The nurse is nice and efficient. In less than five minutes she is done recording my vitals. I'm sure working here in flu season must be crazy. The doctor comes immediately after the nurse is gone. Dr. Roberts is a middle aged doctor who teaches in med school. We chat a little while he goes over my chart. He asks me about campus and what I want to study. When he asks why I'm here I tell him the truth.

"My boyfriend broke with me a month ago. I have not been feeling right ever since. I can't eat properly, so I'm always tired. I'm done with feeling so bad, I want to be normal again."

"It's normal to experience eating and sleeping problems after such an experience. It's true that if you don't get enough nourishment you won't feel better. If physically you are not well, then emotionally you can't heal. Let's see what we can do for your body. If you want we can discuss speaking with someone after we go over your physical exam."

"I don't think I want to talk to anyone. I'm not the talking type."

"That's fine. It's your decision. So, tell me. What's going on?"

"I'm not hungry, and if I try to eat I can't keep down my food."

"Okay, I need to ask this, do you think you might be pregnant?"

"No, I was on birth control."

"Not anymore?"

"No, I don't see the point right now."

"Okay, when was your last period?"

"Honestly, I don't know. I was very stressed even before this so everything is a little fuzzy."

"Did you keep taking your pills regularly?"

"I think so."

"But you are not sure?"

"I'm not; I would think I did take them."

"Aside from that, anything else I should know?"

"No, I was sick after my high school exams. I had an ear and throat infection but I took my medicines and I was good as new after that."

"Well, why don't we run a quick blood and urine test? After that, we can discuss a course of action."

I hate needles but I'm ready to do anything to feel better. After I'm done with my exams I have to wait some time for the first results to be ready. I decide to go over some papers and protocols Dr. Tanner has sent me in preparation for my research project. Obviously it won't be anything very difficult for her, but I'm sure it'll be challenging for me. I'm certain what I learned in school won't be enough for a real university laboratory.

I'm so focused on my readings that I completely forget where I am. The nurse has to come and shake my arm since apparently she called me several times without results. As soon as the doctor comes to the room, I know something is wrong.

"Well, Bella. I think I have some news for you. We run several tests and without a doubt you are pregnant."

"I can't be."

"I told you there are no doubts. I would like to perform a pelvic examination if you agree with me. Then I would like to discuss a few things with you. Is that okay?"

The nurse comes back and I get ready for the pelvic exam. Of course it isn't pleasant but I am so shocked that I barely realize what is going on. How can I be pregnant?

The doctor is done very quickly.

"Everything looks as it should be. I know that this is a shock but I would like to discuss options."

It's funny, because I am not that kind of girl. The one that gets pregnant in high school, the one that is a single mother before twenty. I know that whatever I decide it will mark me for the rest of my life. Normally, I wouldn't doubt what I have to do. Amazingly, today I have no doubts about what I'll do. My decision is made, even if it's in complete opposition to what I should do.

"I'll keep it."

"Well, in that case, please let me be the first to say congratulations. Please, know that there are lots of people on campus to help you if you decide you want to talk about this or even if you change your mind. It's okay. In the meantime, I want you to go buy prenatal vitamins. Everything you have been experiencing is normal under the circumstances. I'll check the rest of your results once I have them and I'll let you know if there is anything else you should know. You also need to make an appointment with a doctor and as soon as you have someone, I'll send your results. Do you have any questions?"

"I've been trying to eat but I can't. Would my baby suffer because of that?"

"No, for now it's okay. But, I want you to make an effort to eat and have a good diet. Don't worry, many women experience the same."

"How can I be pregnant? I thought I took all my pills."

"There are several options and I don't think you'll ever know what really happened. You must know that no method is 100% sure. So you might be in that small failure percentage. Other possibility is that you skipped some pills. That is also very common. You told me you were sick. Well some antibiotics can interfere with hormonal contraception, but I don't think that might have happened. We would need to know what you were prescribed."

After that I leave the doctor's office. Even if I have no doubts about what I want to do, I need to think about all this. The consequences are huge. What will happen with my scholarship and my future? Right now I feel like a toy boat in the sea during a storm. I'm hit by wave after wave and as soon as I start treading water, a bigger wave hits me. I go to buy my vitamins and return to my dorm. I need to think about everything including what I will do and how to tell this news to Charlie. But right now there is a more important question and I really need to think about it. Should I call Edward?


	11. Chapter 11

**Thanks all of you for the reviews. I'm trying my best to advance the stories but I have a few deadlines coming soon, so I can't promise anything, except that I'm not stopping any of the stories.**

Chapter 11

July 2006

The days following the discovery of the pregnancy are strange. My emotions are all over the place. I am still very sad and hurt by my break-up with Edward, but I can't avoid a big smile each time that I think about my baby. I'm eager to meet my little guy or little girl. Some people might think that I'm being selfish, keeping the baby to have someone to love. Obviously I'm not in the best situation to welcome a baby in my life. I probably lack maturity and I evidently don't have the means to support someone else. But, that isn't why I'm keeping my baby. He or she is a part of me, but also a part of him. It's the product of 'us', even if today there isn't 'us' anymore he's still the most important thing in my life. There isn't a single thing on Earth that can make me change my mind.

I spent the weekend following the doctor's appointment figuring out what to do. Obviously money will be an issue. Even if I have my room and board covered by the scholarship we, and I love being part of a 'we' once again, will need more space, as well as many new things including day care. I have the money I saved from my working days but I'm sure that won't be enough.

I know I'll need to have some very difficult conversations soon, so I try to get ready for them. During the weekend I thought carefully about all my options and I chose what I believe is the best course of action. I decided to start by the easiest talk which was also the one that could open or close new opportunities, financial aid. Monday afternoon, as soon as I'm done with classes I start the difficult process of once again changing my future. Charlotte, the person to whom I am assigned, is waiting for me.

"Bella, how are classes going?"

"Classes are going fine. Charlotte, I'm here because I think I need to drop out. Last week I went to the doctor because I wasn't feeling well. I discovered that I'm pregnant and I decided to keep my baby."

"Congratulations, Bella, but why do you think you need to stop school? The scholarship is yours independently of your change of circumstances. You earned it with your hard work. The scholarship depends on you maintaining good grades, so unless your grades slip, you can keep the scholarship."

"Yes, I know that, but it won't be enough. I'll need more space, the dorm is too small. I'll also need more money. I have heard that babies are expensive and I don't have much saved." I'm surprised that Charlotte doesn't seem to think this is a problem. I was expecting her to hand me a paper to decline the scholarship as soon as I said the word baby.

"Well, obviously you aren't eligible to keep your current dorm any longer, but you can move to Escondido Village which is reserved for students with children. If we had known about the baby earlier that's where we would have housed you. Since we're in summer it'll be easy to make the change. We just need a doctor's certificate stating that you're pregnant and then you'll be assigned a new house. Before you ask, the difference in price isn't an issue."

I wasn't expecting anything like this. It's true that in my scholarship there's not mention of a specific amount of money for housing, just that it's covered. This is perfect since it's one less thing to worry about.

"This is great. I'm not sure what to say."

"Believe me, you aren't the first and won't be the last girl to have that same problem. We have ironed many things over the years, trying to make things easier for you. Still, it isn't perfect. We haven't discussed day care yet."

Day care was definitely something else. I wasn't prepared for it. First of all, there's a waiting list, but if I enroll the baby now, probably I'll have a spot by the time the baby needs it. However, babies can't start until they are at least 6 weeks old, which means that I would probably have problems with my classes during the spring semester. The other issue is the cost. I knew day care was expensive, but I would never have imagined the cost of having children. In comparison Stanford tuition is nothing, at least they give you an education and a diploma. I'm not sure who exactly can afford to have their children in day care. I could enroll my baby part-time and participate in day care activities to lower the price. However, even like that I wouldn't be able to afford day care. Also, I'm certain that after taking care of my baby I won't have much time free and I'll need all my time for keeping up with classes. After Charlotte is done explaining the ins and outs of day care it looks like I'd have to stop college. I could finish this and the next semester but it would be best if I stopped immediately and found a job to start saving money.

Once again I'm very pessimistic about my future. However, Charlotte isn't done yet. "We have a special program that is funded by a very special lady. You fit perfectly on the priorities of this program. With your grades and CV, I'm sure there won't be any problems."

"What is that program?" I ask.

"Well, first let me tell you about the benefactor. She wants to remain anonymous so I can't tell you her name, but she believes that helping someone like you to continue your education is the best long term solution. It's the only way to ensure your independence as well as yours and your baby's well-being. It would give you the means to support yourself in the future and for you to offer a good future to your baby. She is a very special person and I believe you qualify. There's also another component of the program that is sometimes more important than the economical aspect, it's the support. As part of this program you are paired with another student. You'll live in the same house so you can help one another. The program helps with day care cost as well as some of the extra costs associated with babies. I'm not going to lie to you, it won't be easy but it's doable. Would you be interested in applying?"

"Of course, but would that be enough to pay for day care?"

"That's why you are paired with another person, this way you have options for when your baby is a newborn and if possible you can reduce the day care costs by trying to arrange your schedules with the other mom. You're about to face great responsibilities, the program jut helps you build confidence and strength but part of the deal is for you to assume your responsibilities. "

Applying for the program is easy. Once again, the only thing I need is the doctor's certificate since they already have all my other papers including the application to the scholarship and Stanford. I have the papers I was given last time at the clinic so I can apply for the change of housing and the program. Honestly, things are looking better than I thought. On Tuesday, I choose my doctor and make an appointment for my first visit. I won't tell anything to Charlie or Renee until I have the results of the application to the young mother's program. I had decided that I would call Edward to let him know but I haven't done it yet. I tried several times but was unable to press the send button. I'll do it and I know I can't wait much longer; I just need to build courage.

The answer from the program comes fast. In less than a week I have my doctor's appointment and Charlotte's call. There was nothing special about that OB/Gyn visit. The doctor had received my previous tests and everything seemed normal. In my next appointment I'll be able to hear the heart, which has me very excited. My morning sickness is unchanged but I'm making an extra effort to eat. The other important thing from that visit is that the doctor asked me to talk with Dr. Tanner to make sure I wasn't exposed to dangerous compounds during this time when my baby was the most susceptible. I hadn't thought about that and I was a little scared for my baby. The call from financial aid to tell me that they had the results from my application arrived the second I was home. It was unexpected to have an answer in such a short notice. I thought I would need to wait longer, but I was invited to go as soon as possible to finalize some paperwork. They couldn't tell me if I was accepted on the phone; I needed to go in person. Before hanging up Charlotte told me "Don't worry Bella, I'm not supposed to tell you anything on the phone, but you can relax, I know how important good rest is in your condition."

So today I go to financial aid first thing in the morning. Charlotte receives me with a big smile. "Bella, how are feeling? You look better."

"Thanks, I feel better, still not 100% but for sure I'm less tired."

"Great. So I have only good news for you. Your application was accepted. After your 6th month you'll receive some money to start preparing the arrival of your baby. Let me tell you, it isn't much so use it carefully. Your housing was also arranged and you'll see the great support that exists within the community. Obviously the population in that community is different, there are mainly graduate students."

"That's fine; I was never your typical teenager girl. I wasn't interested in parties before, I'm definitely even less interested now."

"Good. We also enrolled you in MOMS program which gives health coverage while pregnant. After the birth you'll be covered for one year while your baby is covered for three. You'll have your student coverage after that, but in the meantime it'll save you some money. As part of MOMS you are also eligible to WIC program for food."

"Charlotte, you're like the fairy godmother."

"No I just mailed the paperwork. Anyway, we've also paired you. That was my only contribution since I chose your roommate. There's a new student, Rosalie, who is also from Washington State. She's a few months further along than you but I thought it would be a good match. She's already living in the apartment. You'll share a three bedroom apartment. The babies will share one once they are here. The day care is in the same complex than your new home, so that's great. What do you think about moving during the weekend?"

"That's perfect. I don't have much and I haven't even finished unpacking so it should be easy. However, I don't have any furniture."

"Don't worry about that. This apartment is furnished, even the cribs are there."

"This is so great. I don't know what to say. It seems too good to be true."

"It's okay. If you succeed, we would then like if you helped someone else, just like you're being helped."

"Believe me, being the recipient of this is amazing. I'll do my best."

"Well, that's all we want. Rosalie knows about you. It'll be great if you meet her before moving. She is available this afternoon and will be waiting for you if you can make it."

"I'll be there, thanks." I'm a little nervous about this part of the arrangement. I'm shy by nature and I'm scared I won't like living with somebody I don't know. But I'll try my best. It's part of the things I have to do for my baby.

After class I ask to talk with Dr. Tanner. She assures me that she'll be careful with what she asks me to do and that up to now I haven't been exposed to dangerous products, but next time I'm in the lab she'll explain in detail what substances I should avoid and what are the risks associated with each of them. I assure her that I'm committed to finish my research project. Until now, everything has been going very well and if possible I would like to continue working with her. Dr. Tanner is a great teacher in the classroom as well as outside the classroom. I can see that she seems disappointed by my news. I think she's expecting to see me fail, but I'll try my best.

After my talk with Dr. Tanner, I go to visit my new home and my roommate. I knock at the door and a beautiful blonde girl opens it.

"Hello, you must be Bella, I'm Rosalie."

"Hi, Rosalie, nice to meet you."

"Come inside." Rosalie isn't what I expect at all. She is beautiful and has a perfect figure. She is dressed in what I'm sure are designer clothes and shoes. But, in spite of her haughty demeanor she has a beautiful and warm smile. She shows me around. The house isn't big but it's good. The furnishing is simple but new. After touring the house we sit in the couch.

"So, tell me about you." She suggests.

"There isn't much to tell. I'm form Washington, just like you, but I mainly grew up in Arizona. I'm a freshman, I want to study Law. I found out recently about the pregnancy. I'm due in February. I still haven't told anyone, I was waiting to know about the program."

"What about the father?"

"He's name is Edward. He's studying in Harvard. He doesn't know either but I'll tell him very soon. We broke up so I'm trying to figure out how to tell him. What about you?"

"Well, I'm due in December. Everyone knows. My parents kicked me out of the house when I decided that I was keeping the baby."

"Why?"

"They weren't mad because I was pregnant. The problem is the father. According to them Emmett is not good enough for the Hales. Would it have been someone else from the accepted list, there would have been any problem."

"Wait, are you Rosalie Hale?" She just smiles at me. The Hales are almost nobility, everyone knows about them. They are from the same circles as the Cullens, Rosalie probably knows Jasper and Edward.

Apparently, she met Emmett in a club where he was the bouncer. Her parents didn't know about their relationship because they wouldn't have approved. Emmett's mother is a widow and without being poor they don't have much. When she discovered her pregnancy, Rosalie told her parents who asked her to choose. She chose the baby and they kicked her out. She went to live with Emmett's mom since he was in medical school. Rosalie has a school fund that was given to her on her eighteenth birthday, so she doesn't have to worry about tuition or any cost related to her education. She'll have her trust fund in a few years, but in the meantime she has no money to live. Since Emmett can't support Rosalie and the baby while continuing his career he decided to enroll in the army so he'll have a salary and later they'll pay tuition for him to finish his career. Rosalie isn't happy about all this and she's scared but she doesn't see any other way. In a few years she'll have more than enough money but Emmett wants to do it on his own. I guess it's his proud side and his way to show the Hales that he isn't into this for the money. When Rosalie learned about this program she transferred from Dartmouth where she was supposed to start to Stanford. My guess is that when your name is Hale there are very few doors that stay closed even when it isn't your parents knocking at them.

Before leaving Rosalie threatens "Emmett will be here this weekend. We'll come to help you. You better not be carrying weight or else. You aren't alone any longer." Those sentences summarize Rosalie, apparently cold and haughty but with a huge heart and a great caring capacity. I would have never guessed that based on the image given by the tabloids.

That night I decide to make all the difficult calls. My mother seems disappointed that I had failed in spite of all the talks we had, but once I tell her about the program and how I am continuing my studies she is much calmer and starts talking about her life. I don't think she realizes how alone and scared I am. She probably believes that it's history repeating itself but she had my dad and his family when she was pregnant with me. I have my parents but they live thousands of miles away. After Renee, it's Charlie's turn. The great thing about my dad is that he knows how to listen.

"Bella, how are classes?"

"Classes are great. Listen Dad, I have to tell you something. I went to the doctor because I wasn't feeling very well. It turns out that I'm pregnant."

"Pregnant? So, what did the Cullen boy say?" Funny how he was downgraded form Edward to Cullen boy once again.

"He doesn't know it yet, but I'll tell him."

"Bella, you have to tell him."

"I will."

"So, what do you need? What will you do? I can help you to make sure you finish school. I'm not sure about Law school, but at least college." Charlie is great like that. He doesn't judge me, he wants to help me.

"Don't worry Dad. For the moment everything is sorted out. I'll let you know if I need anything. I'll move this weekend to a new housing place. It's for students with kids and I'll be sharing a house with another person. I met her and she seems great. I'll tell you if you need to start worrying again but for now I'm doing very well." And it was true. My life had once again a purpose, to build a nice place for my baby and me.

"You let me know the second you need something. You're my girl Bella. Do you hear me?"

"Yes, Dad. Thanks."

Saturday at 10, there's a knock on my door. As I open it I find a giant with blue eye and a warm smile looking at me.

"Yes?"

"Bella, I'm Emmett, my girl sent me to help you. What do you need from me?"

"I'm all packed. We just need to bring my stuff to my car." I say pointing to my boxes and suitcases.

"Great. You take care of the pillows and small things, I'll carry the rest."

The truth is that I have very few things and we are done very quickly.

Emmett follows me to my new house and helps me bring my things inside. In less than one hour we are done.

Rosalie is in the kitchen trying to cook something, but it smells disgusting.

"What are you doing Rosalie?"

"Trying to cook some pasta, but it seems easier than what it is."

"Let me help you, I'm used to cook."

"Really? Great! I can't even boil water. Emmett will love you forever if you manage to do something eatable."

While I try to fix Rosalie's disaster, she updates me on Emmett. He's leaving tomorrow and she doesn't know when he'll be back. He came to say goodbye. He won't be deployed immediately but it'll happen sooner or later. I can see that she's trying to put a face but she's scared.

"Mmm, Bella, whatever you're doing smells delicious. Please, teach Rosie how to cook a few things while I'm not here. If not for me, do it for the baby. She might be a girl but she'll need to eat something."

"You guys are having a girl! That's awesome. Do you have a name?"

"Not yet but we're working on it."

The rest of the weekend is spent calmly. I try to give them as much privacy as possible. Sunday afternoon before leaving Emmett hugs me and tells me "I'm so glad she'll have someone with her. She's not as tough as she would like. Please, take care of my girls Bella. I'm grateful you seem more down to Earth. It's not Rose's fault, just the way she was raised. She has never had to live counting. Take care of yourself little sis, and if that asshole doesn't show up when you tell him, let me know and I'll come from wherever I am to kick his butt."


	12. Chapter 12

**As usual, thanks to my reviewers. I love hearing from you! I would also like to thank the other readers, the silent ones, for coming back with each chapter. If you guys feel like telling me something, don't be shy…**

Chapter 12

September - November 2006

Once again it's my birthday. Charlie decided his present would be visiting. I think he wants to check by himself that I'm doing as well as I promise I am. Even Rosalie is excited about meeting my dad. They had talked to each other many times on the phone and they've become close. I know that Charlie worries as much about me as he does about Rosalie.

In the past months, Rosalie and I have established a good rhythm. Both of us want to advance our schooling as much as possible while the babies aren't here yet. She isn't sure what she wants to major in, but she definitely likes business. Her family is a major player in the business world, so it's as if business is in her blood. Since I want to specialize in corporate law, we've managed to find common courses for the fall semester.

My pregnancy is going well. Morning sickness is a bad souvenir from the past. I still have some weight to gain but I'm definitely eating these days. Nobody except me can see the differences in my body however my tummy's growing and my pants are tighter. I guess soon I'll need to start thinking about wearing maternity clothes, but for the moment none of my peers know. Rosalie's pregnancy on the other hand isn't going as smoothly as mine. Emmett's been deployed recently and since then we only have scarce news. We don't know with certainty where exactly he is located so watching the news has become a guessing game. The stress isn't good for her baby but there's nothing any of us can do. Each day I try to convince her that no news don't necessary mean bad news. However, we know what communication lock-down means. The days she talks to him or even when she receives an email she's ecstatic, but the next days are hard and she always gets depressed. Her mood is constantly swinging between these two extremes.

Living with Rosalie is interesting. Because of her upbringing she has no clue about cleaning, cooking and general housework. Apparently, according to her mother, a Hale has no use for that kind of knowledge. I even doubt she ever went grocery shopping while living in her parent's house. Now she wants to learn, her objective is to be ready for when her baby and later Emmett come to live with her. In exchange for my teaching, she's instructing me in the arts of make-up, dressing and manners. As per Rosalie, those skills will be essential when I'm a famous lawyer.

Rosalie and I don't have much money. We pooled our resources which allows us to have a little more leeway, but still our budget is tight. However, her closet is from her former life and it's filled with clothes and shoes from designer houses. Of course, I have access to whatever I want, but I have no use for it. Rosalie's other input to our life is adventure. According to her between all the studying I did and having a chief of police for a father I hadn't enjoyed my youth and once the babies are here it'll be a definitely goodbye to my opportunity for adventure. She is determined to give me a taste of the freedom she had while growing up as a member of the golden youth.

With Rosalie I went clubbing. She knew how to deal with bouncers, Emmett's the living proof of that, and bartenders, even if we couldn't drink alcohol. I'm not sure I liked those experiences mostly because the music was too loud but Rosalie taught me how to dance and I definitely had fun. I can see how people might like it, no need to maintain conversation! Another time we went tagging. I'm not too proud of it but I'm happy I got to do it. It's true that I had never experienced the thrill of doing something forbidden. Rosalie assured me it was all very tame compared to her other previous shenanigans.

I was a little nervous about Charlie's visit. He was very supportive on the phone but I wouldn't be able to stand it if I sensed he was disappointed. Rose was a great support reassuring me that Charlie loved me and if worse came to happen, we had each other and Sue. In spite of everything she missed her parent even if she'd never forgive them. She kept in touch with her siblings who tried to help her but they were younger than her. Her only support was Sue, Emmett's mom, who called constantly and had become a mother for both of us.

As soon as Charlie hugs me I know there's nothing to worry about. He touches my tiny belly and I see no disappointment in his eyes, only wonder. As usual we don't do much for my birthday but Rose insists she has to bake a cake. Her excuse is that she needs practicing for the kids' birthdays. I have to say, she did a good job. The cake is simple but good and the icing is perfect. Charlie didn't bring anything for me. His present was to take Rose and I shopping for things we might need. Rosalie's sister can't send us money but no one raises an eyebrow when she buys clothes. So at least she keeps us supplied with maternity clothes and things for the babies. However, we need everything else including diapers, toys, baby chairs, etc. We have a list of things we need to buy according to their priority and with Charlie's help we remove a few items from the list. The last night of his visit, Charlie surprises me by giving me a necklace. It's a simple silver chain.

"I hear women tend to get all swollen by the end of their pregnancies. I noticed you're still wearing your ring. You won't be able to wear it all the time. I remember your mother had to remove her wedding ring when she was pregnant with you. I know how important yours is for you, so you might want to put it here and keep it around your neck when you become too swollen." With that simple gesture my dad shows me how caring and observant he is. He knows that I won't ever remove my ring unless needed. Edward might not want me anymore, but the ring is a proof that our couple really existed, it's the symbol of our love and it's what I'll show our child when the questions start. I still believe that Edward was honest when he gave it to me one year ago, I don't know what happened later or why he changed his mind, but I think he meant each of the words he said that night.

"Thanks Dad. You're always so thoughtful."

"It's nothing Bella. Any news from him?"

"Nothing new and I don't want you to do anything" I tell him before he can ask his next question. We've already had this conversation before. "Things are what they are and I'm fine with them."

"Okay, it's your life, your decision. You know what I think."

"Thanks Dad."

I don't like talking about Edward, except with Rosalie. We had become more than sisters and we had spent hours going over my story with Edward, our break-up and the present situation. Charlie knows that, we've been over this many times. He always kept his patience and respected my wishes. So once he said what he wanted he changes the subject.

"What about your boy Rosalie?"

"He's fine. He's been deployed so I don't know much."

"Why didn't he delay until after the birth?"

"He wants to get it done as soon as possible so we can start having a normal life. Also, while I'm in college I'm taken care of by the program and now by Bella and you too. If everything goes as planned, he'll be done by the time I graduate. Then once he's back he'll finish his studies. We'll probably go back to Seattle then."

"I know it's difficult, but I'm proud of all of you. You girls are doing a great job. I just wish you had family close by but I'm glad at least you have each other."

Before leaving, Charlie fills our kitchen with enough food to feed a small country. He wants to make sure we're getting enough fresh vegetables and healthy food. As always he's caring in a discreet way but he manages to convey his love. I won't see him again until Christmas. He'll be working on Thanksgiving so he can come spend the long holidays with us. Just as Sue started filling the void left by our mothers, Rosalie has become attached to Charlie, and I know that in his heart Charlie has adopted Rosalie as his own daughter. Rosalie's parents deserted her, they aren't in contact and not once have they called to check on her. I keep in touch with my mother but I think Renee remains disconnected from reality and absorbed by her new life. I think she hasn't realized yet the implications of me being pregnant. I hope one day she'll get things straight.

In November, Rosalie was put on bed rest to avoid an early labor. Sue had initially planned to come in December for the birth of Rosalie's baby. However, with this new development she decided to take longer vacations, spend Thanksgiving with us and stay until after Christmas. Sue had lots of unused vacation days so this change in plans wasn't a problem. As soon as she knew she had to stay at home, Rosalie talked to all her professors who agreed to give me the materials for her to study. They also agreed to allow her to take her exams during the normal exam session if things became normal again or as soon as possible after the birth. Overall, I believe she has things well lined up. Her baby is due just before Christmas break and we'll have time before the beginning of next semester to get used to the change in our lives.

Having Sue with us is great. She mothers and spoils us. She insisted we had to have a full blown Thanksgiving meal. So, we spent the whole day cooking, eating, watching TV and playing games. In the evening Rosalie is restless, she still has some weeks to go but she's already huge. The baby's head grinds against her bones causing her pain. It's rather mild but constant and she can't find a good position to lie down. In comparison my belly is still small even if the doctor assures me it's growing as expected.

Later in the evening, Rose starts complaining that she isn't feeling well. According to her she ate too much. In particular, the culprit is the last piece of pumpkin pie she ate but that she shouldn't have even looked at. She didn't actually eat too much but her belly is so big she gets full with little food. Hearing Rosalie complain about how much food she ate has become a daily occurrence, so we don't pay much attention to her. As the evening advances she becomes gradually more uncomfortable until suddenly she jumps from the couch.

"Rose?" I ask concerned.

"I think my water broke." She replies calmly.

This isn't what I expected to hear or how I had planned to finish my evening. Even if Rose isn't due until in a few weeks, the pregnancy has reached term and we knew this baby might come earlier. If everything goes fine, Rosalie might have to add an important item to her list of things to be grateful for this year.

"Honey, please go check just in case, change your pants if you want but if your water broke it's rather pointless. In the meantime I'll start preparing a bag for the hospital while Bella sends a message to Emmett." Sue directs.

I don't understand how they're both so calm. As reality comes crashing, my heart starts thumping like crazy and I become all sweaty. Sue has already gone through all this once, but Rosalie is as inexperienced as I am. I suddenly realize that when we come back from the hospital we'll have a tiny baby with us. I start doubting our capacity to take care of this little being. I really hope we'll be good mothers to our daughters.

I'm not sure what to say to Emmett, I don't want to stress him but I think it's inevitable. So I just write that Rosalie's water broke and that we'll be leaving soon for the hospital. We'll try contacting him once we know more. I wait to send the email until I get confirmation that it isn't a false alarm when Rosalie comes out of the restroom. After sending the message I call Rosalie's doctor's office to let them know that her water broke and we're headed to the hospital.

"How are you feeling?" I ask her once she comes to sit with me on the couch.

"I'm good so far. I guess before I was having some contractions without realizing what they were, but since my water broke I have no more doubts. They are painful but not close enough yet, so I get to relax in between. However, in this small period of time I can feel them getting stronger and longer. I also think they're getting closer to each other."

"How are you so calm?" I ask her while we wait for Sue to be done preparing Rosalie's clothes. I don't want her to start panicking but I know that I'd be terrified. I still get scared when I think about labor but Rosalie told me that as the belly grows the fear diminishes.

"I don't know. I guess there's nothing I can do about it and anyway I know that it had to happen sooner or later."

"Do you want me to call anyone?"

"If you're thinking about my parents the answer is no. I'll talk to my sister later, no need to have her stressed with no reason. You can call Charlie if you want."

"I'll call him later."

As we speak her face blanches as a new contraction hits her. I can even see her belly contracting through her shirt. Each time I check my belly to verify it's still soft. As soon as Sue is done we leave for the hospital. Once there everything happens at once. Rosalie's admitted and hooked up to different machines. One of them is the baby monitor that shows the contractions and the baby heart rate. After the nurse checks her, she informs us that it'll take a few hours but everything is progressing as it should. Rosalie's doctor hasn't arrived yet, but she called to let the nurses know that she was on her way.

There's nothing we can do but wait. Sue helps Rosalie by giving her ice chips and maintaining a light conversation to distract her. Rosalie wants to make sure Emmett is aware that his little girl is coming but so far I haven't had any luck. As the night progresses so does Rosalie's labor. The long hours have taken their toll on her, her face shows the pain and fatigue, and her front is beaded with sweat. Every so often I try contacting Emmett without results, until suddenly in the middle of the night I manage to talk to him. He has just read the email I sent when we were leaving the house. I try to calm him by updating him on the progress. Honestly, Rosalie has been a trooper. She has remained calm and she barely complains each time a new contraction hits her. I can see in the monitor screen how close and strong they've become. In spite of everything, Rosalie wants to talk to Emmett. They barely say anything to each other, just trying to connect across the distance during this very important moment. As soon as the doctor tells it's time to push, Rosalie says a last 'I love you' and hands me the phone. We stay on the phone so I can tell Emmett everything that's happening in the room. I can hear him sniffling barely able to talk, obviously moved by the birth of his first-born child. I couldn't imagine how he was feeling so far away and alone. Also, I would have never imagined that something could bring such a big man to tears, but I should have guessed that a little girl was enough.

After the wait, Lily Sue McCarty comes to the world very quickly. Rosalie barely has time push before her head appears. The rest of the body comes out very quickly. As soon as she is in Rosalie's arms I give back the phone to Rose while I take pictures of both of them. Rosalie's smile is glorious as she welcomes her little girl. My heart aches for Emmett that is missing this experience but I'm so happy he managed to witness a small part of it. I take lots of pictures so I'll have my pick to send later to Emmett, Charlie and Irina, Rosalie's sister. Lily has black hair and a powerful cry. It's as if she wanted to make sure we noticed she was finally here. But as soon as she's with her mom, she calms down. And just then it hits me, Rosalie is now a mom.

Once the nurse takes Lily to get her cleaned and dressed, Sue takes the phone and promises Emmett we'll call back later and we'll send tones of pictures. In spite of being a few weeks early Lily is in no way a small baby. She has a head full of black hair and as other babies she has blue eyes, but I'm sure hers won't change since both her parents also have blue eyes. Her skin is white with a rosy sheen. Her name fits her perfectly.


	13. Chapter 13

**Thanks for sticking with this story, you guys deserve a prize for being patient readers. Last chapter before the big time jump. It's funny because the majority of you still believe Bella never called Edward. She said she was ready to make all the phone calls, she said that Edward didn't want her anymore and Charlie offered to do something. Of course she called, she is a responsible girl.**

Chapter 13

February 2007

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. I've never been a huge fan of that particular celebration. Is that even a celebration? I honestly don't know. I don't understand why people who are in love need a special day to show it to their other half. If they're so in love, they shouldn't need a day or even presents, cards or chocolates to let the other person know about their feelings, let alone need the excuse to go in a date. I mean, they go constantly on dates. Each single time they go out together, it's a date, sometimes on their own, others with friends, but definitely a date. Also, what about people who don't have a special someone? What are those persons supposed to do that day? Hide in their beds? What about seeing all those happy couples, hearts everywhere and publicities highlighting how alone they are? It's already hard with every day's reminders of their single status. Don't single people deserve a break? No one thinks about that. Do you want to know what the worse is? The majority of the couples that seem so in love during Valentine's Day are faking it. I've seen many couples splitting a few days after their great date, so where did the big love go so quickly?

This isn't a new development of my feelings on Valentine's Day, that's how I've always thought. Even last year when I had someone to celebrate with, we didn't do anything special. Of course we spent the day together, but we did that every single day. Edward also offered me the lullaby he composed for me, but he used to give me presents regularly, it could be a wild flower from the side of the trail where we were running or a piano song composed by himself. As I said, nothing special.

This year I'll spend the evening with my two favorite girls, Rosalie and Lily. Lily is in fact a great baby. Two days after the birth, Rosalie and Lily were released from the hospital and were finally home. Probably thanks to Sue's presence, having Lily at home was easy, even if obviously our entire lives were centered on her needs. She woke up in the middle of the night for a midnight snack but she immediately went back to sleep. During the day, she was always calm, either sleeping in her crib or studying her surroundings with her big blue eyes, while Rosalie and I studied for our finals.

In spite of the difficulties during the last weeks of the pregnancy, Rosalie's recovery was fast. A couple of weeks after the birth she was back to her pre-pregnancy shape and no one would imagine she had been pregnant recently. Also, she was calmer. She still worried about Emmett constantly, but now that she was responsible for Lily's future, she had achieved some kind of serenity that I wouldn't have imagined possible before.

For me things were the same. I was still able to pretend that I was normal during the day, but as soon as I was alone at night the pain was back. I was still dreaming about Edward on a nightly basis. Sometimes I'd dream that our break-up never happened, it was just one of the many nightmares I started having exactly one year ago. Other times, we would be back together, either he finally answered one of my many calls or we were just reunited.

Interestingly, in my dreams there never was a baby. I couldn't explain why. I asked Rosalie, who told me she rarely dreamt about her baby before the birth. Apparently it only happened twice and both times she was failing as a mother. So, I guess my baby's absence from my dreams was kind of normal. Even when Edward answered one of my many phone calls, it wasn't clear why I had contacted him in the first place.

The good thing about my dreams is that during those hours I could breathe again. After all these months, waking up the following morning wasn't extra painful anymore. In fact, I was happy that I had managed to spend some time with him; the dreams were a refuge where we could be together once again. The next day I'd rethink often about the dream, remembering his touch and kisses.

Obviously I wasn't over Edward yet. I still had a few months before the end of the year of mourning I gave myself. However, I doubted twelve months would be enough to forget the fourteen months we were together. Fourteen months is really a short period of time, but those were enough to mark my life indelibly, and I mean that without even including my baby. Often I was mad at myself. How could I still love someone who had caused me so much pain?

I'd never understand what Edward meant by asking me to carry on with my life as if I had never met him. It was impossible even before knowing he had left me the extra present. I still couldn't figure out if he had managed to forget me so fast. I'm certain that even when he was breaking up with me he still loved me. We had gone over everything many times with Rosalie and we had come up with two possible conclusions. The most plausible one was that he had realized he didn't love me enough and breaking up when we were about to move to different cities was a logical step. Obviously, in that scenario he wouldn't have been able to keep the loving boyfriend façade, which would explain why he left so early. The other possibility was that he knew our relationship wouldn't stand the test of time, let alone of distance. The problem is that we could never imagine what that reason was. Based on what he told me that day, I believe he felt he needed to live before committing to me, probably have other relationships but Rosalie thinks that's bullshit, he might regret not having had other relationships but that wouldn't have been enough to break up with me if he was happy.

By the time Christmas arrived and we were expecting Charlie's arrival, our lives were completely changed. Since we only had three bedrooms, we had decided that Sue would keep the babies' room while Lily had her crib in Rosalie's bedroom. Charlie would sleep on the couch in the living room. It wasn't ideal but no one wanted Charlie in a hotel. He assured us it was perfect and anyway he was an early riser so there would be no problems.

In spite of the absence of our loved ones, we believed this Christmas was special and we hoped it would be the first of many. It was Lily's first Christmas; it was also our first one as a family and in Stanford. In honor to so many firsts we decided to celebrate as deserved. With Charlie's help we bought a big Christmas tree in which we hung multicolored decorations.

Our time together was peaceful. During these two weeks Charlie fell in love. He was immediately under Lily's spell. I had never seen my father behave like that. This was another reminder of our missed time together after my mother took me away. Charlie might come up as gruff or cold but he has a huge heart. He would sit on the couch to watch a game with Lily on his arms. His little girl needed to learn football, so he explained the rules and talked about the players and teams. But according to him he was just doing a favor to Emmett. Lily would calmly watch him with her big eyes.

Rosalie and I would bet anything we possess that Charlie also fell for Sue, and we believe it wasn't one-sided. We never witnessed anything in particular, but they spent lots of time together early morning while we slept. There were many interesting looks shared across the dinner table while Rosalie and I pretended we were unaware and prattled senselessly to cover up.

Since Lily was born earlier than expected, by the time the next semester started she would be old enough to go to day care. Sue decided she would leave earlier so she could use the remaining vacation days in the future. She wanted to be sure she could come for my baby's birth or if someone was sick. Suddenly, we weren't alone anymore and even across the distance I could feel the support of a family. Oh so randomly, she decided to leave with Charlie. Since the flight was landing in Seattle late in the afternoon, she offered my dad to spend the night in her home so he wouldn't have to drive during the night. Sue was not fond of people travelling at night since that's how she lost her husband. We haven't heard anything else from what happened between them after that.

Today classes are brutal. I'm sure they are just normal but I am ready to pop. My classmates think I'll give birth any time now. They have a bet on when I'll have my baby and whether my water would break in class. Some of them try cajoling my baby to come out on their chosen day promising her toys or candies. Every day they're surprised to see me arrive in the morning, and before leaving they wish me good luck. They've been great after learning about my pregnancy. They had always been nice to Rosalie but I wasn't sure they would respect me once they learned about the absence of the father.

A few weeks ago I had to resign myself to remove my ring from my finger. I'm grateful that Charlie gave me the necklace so I can still have it on me. But realistically, I know the end is close. My face is swollen which according to many women willing to impart their pregnancy wisdom is a sure sign I'll be at the hospital before the end of the week.

In spite of the imminent birth Rosalie, Lily and I are alone. I've asked Sue to delay her visit for a few weeks since Renee promised to come as soon as the baby is here to take care of her. If we time Sue's visit correctly, she can stay until my daughter is eligible for day care. She was disappointed she wouldn't be here for the birth of her second grand baby as I was. She had been engaged on the pregnancy all along while my mother would only call sporadically to have news. In my view, Sue deserved to be here but she refused when I suggested switching the order of the visits.

All day I've been having pains, not sure you could call them contractions. The doctor says it's my body getting ready to deliver, but it doesn't mean anything, the birth could still be several days away. Thankfully, my last class finished just after lunch and I could go home. When Rosalie is back after picking up Lily from day care, I'm lying on the couch watching TV.

"Contractions?" she ask surprised.

I just glare at her.

"Okay, how far apart?"

"I don't know, not close though. We have time but it'll probably be today. I don't know how you stayed so calm, it hurts and a lot!"

"Do you want me to call someone?" It's funny that today she's the one asking that.

"Yes, but not yet. Let's wait a little longer."

"I'll try to move things along with Lily's routine so she'll be fed and bathed by the time we need to go. Your bag is ready, right?"

"Yes." This last word is basically a pant as a new contraction starts.

A few hours later we are headed to the hospital. I'm experiencing regular contraction. And boy, do they hurt! The funny thing is that I don't feel like crying. Isn't it usual that when we experience strong pain tears come to our eyes? Right now, more than half of my brain is trying to deal with the pain and the need to push, I'll think about tearless pain in another moment, when I'm less busy. I try to be composed and avoid screaming, not because I want to be calm and collected but because I don't want to wake up Lily that just fell asleep.

Once in the hospital, everything goes fast. Contrary to what happened with Rosalie, I'm informed that the birth is imminent. When I'm told to push I realize that I should have paid more attention during labor classes as I'm not sure how to do it. I just let my instincts take over and apparently it's good enough. The doctor encourages me telling me that I'm doing great. I really hope he knows his business because it not only hurts but as the head is coming out, it burns too. After that, the rest is really easy and in no time I have my little girl in my arms. The sense of awe is immediately pushed aside by the crashing weight of responsibility and my first words to my girl are "What am I going to do with you?"

My baby is beautiful. She's small, delicate and has no hair.

"What's the name of this beautiful baby girl?" The nurse asks.

"Elizabeth Rosalie Cullen" I answer full of pride. And at this moment I understand why my parents often told me they were proud of me. I'm proud of my girl and there's nothing she'll ever do that could change that.

My moment is interrupted by Rosalie "Ooooh! Bella, that's so nice of you."

"Oh, Rosalie, don't worry about it. It's not because you're my best friend and I owe you so much. You have to realize that you're her only auntie, it's not as if I had the choice."

"Ha, ha. A few months ago I'd have never imagined that you're such a funny girl. Emmett and you don't even need Charlie and Sue to move things forward, you're already true siblings!" But suddenly she freezes for a few seconds and looks at me with huge eyes. "Cullen, as in Edward Cullen!"

"Yes," I'm not sure what her problem is.

"Oh, Bella. You never told me Edward's last name."

"Do you know him?"

"I used to, when he lived in Seattle, before he left. Our families are friend. I hope I'll be there when his aunt learns that there's an illegitimate child in the family. I despise that woman!"

Just then the nurse takes Elizabeth away to clean and dress her. As she takes her in her arms she comments, "Such a beautiful Valentine's present!" At that moment I realize that several hours have passed and we are already tomorrow. Without even knowing it, Edward has managed to give me the best present I'll ever receive in this particular celebration.


	14. Chapter 14

**As usual thanks to my faithful reviewers. I really appreciate your comments and criticisms. It might seem that I ignore them but I try to answer your questions or clarify things that weren't so clear in future chapters, so please keep reviewing. There's a time gap that will be filled little by little in the next chapters. You'll get all your answers, don't worry.**

**I'm not a fan of different POVs but what would you think about an Edward's? **

Chapter 14

September 2013

Coffee after lunch is the sacred moment of my day. I could swear that after Elizabeth birth, days stopped having 24h, their length has to have been reduced. Since that day, I'm running right and left from the moment I wake-up until I go back to bed, planning ahead tasks to be accomplished and doing two or three things at the same time, such as sorting whites and colors for laundry while I brush my teeth, or paying bills and packing Elizabeth's bag while I cook and help her with homework. This subtle art of becoming everyday a little crazier has a name, it's called multitasking and apparently it's a highly sought-after quality mainly seen in females. Very early I decided I'd be 'selfish' and reserve the coffee after lunch to myself, limiting my time to a single task, drinking my coffee. It was that or be committed to a mental institution.

But today my peace is interrupted by my phone.

"Hello?"

"Yes, I'd like to talk to Elizabeth Cullen's mom, please."

"That's me."

"Mrs. Cullen," Yeah, that's a common mistake and after all these years I still cringe internally when I'm called that name. I should have thought twice before giving Elizabeth her father's name. At that time, it just seemed obvious that her name should be Elizabeth Cullen. "This is the school nurse. Don't worry, nothing bad happened, but after lunch the little angel started complaining about her tummy. She keeps insisting it's the food, but no one else is sick."

"No problem," I say looking at my schedule and forgetting about my coffee, "I'll be there immediately."

If I know my little girl correctly, she's perfectly well. My guess is that she was forced to eat her veggies and she's building up her case to avoid them next time. I know this because it has already happened and it worked. Last year, she had convinced her kindergarten teacher in Stanford that green vegetables made her tummy hurt, so she wasn't required to eat them. It wasn't until two months later when her teacher asked about her health during the parent-teacher conference that her little show was uncovered. I think there are two other culprits here. The first one is Edward who obviously passed his anti-veggies genes along with the green eyes and reddish hair ones. The second one is Emmett who not only encourages her but also teaches her how to use her angel persona to get what she wants. I should have guessed the second she was born that Elizabeth wouldn't be as calm and easy as Lily was. Elizabeth has the face of a sweet angel: pale skin with a few freckles on the nose. Her eyes have a special twinkle and when combined with a serene grin it's impossible to believe she might do anything wrong. But that's only appearance, she's mischievous to the bone.

My calendar tells me that I have an appointment this afternoon in my office. There's no name and no topic, just my office room. Since I didn't schedule the appointment I don't know who my visitor is or if I can cancel the meeting. I've got enough time to rush to Elizabeth's school to pick her up. She'll have to wait until after my meeting to go home. This isn't the first time she needs to come to work with me, so she knows the drill.

While I drive as fast as allowed I call Emmett.

"Emmett, can I bother you or are you busy?"

"For my little sister I'm always available. What's up?"

"The school called. Elizabeth's tummy hurts. I'm on my way to pick her up. I honestly think it's her old trick, but maybe not. Will you be around tonight to check her just in case?"

"I'm not working tonight. I'll check her."

"If she's faking it, can you please make sure you don't encourage her?"

"But Bella, she's great. She probably inherited that from me."

"As a doctor you should know that she can't have inherited that from you, you're my step-brother, we aren't truly related."

"Yeah, you wish you had my awesomeness! Well, must have been her father, she obviously didn't get it from you, Miss goody two shoes."

"I got pregnant at 18. I don't think I qualify as goody two shoes. And her father was like me."

"Your sex life, excellent conversation topic! You know that Rosie asked me to be on the lookout for hot single doctors. There's a bunch working with me, many are interested. Please text me your preferences, you know age, hair, eyes, hobbies, etc."

I can't avoid laughing half amused, half embarrassed. "Are you pimping me now?"

"No, I was showing pictures of the girls, and oh so conveniently you were in one of them. You know, the one where you girls were in the beach."

"God Emmett, I'm almost naked on that picture! I'd love to continue this profound discussion but I arrived. Talk to you tonight." And I hang up before he can say anything else.

Once I arrive to Elizabeth's school I rush inside. Too slowly for my liking my ID is checked and I'm allowed to go see the nurse. Elizabeth is sitting quietly coloring. In my book this is further proof that she's faking it. Elizabeth doesn't know how to suffer in silence. When she is sick, she can't stop complaining. To me, this silence speaks loudly. They often say that the second child is more difficult than the first one, always coming up with bad ideas and enrolling the oldest kid to carry them. Even if Elizabeth and Lily aren't truly sisters, they have lived as if they were since their birth and they have the whole sibling thing going on: best friends, defending the other when necessary but highly competitive between them. And of course, they have completely opposed tastes and personalities. If one wants chocolate ice-cream (Elizabeth), the other wants vanilla (Lily). One is calm (Lily) while the other one is continuously jumping (Elizabeth). This silence fits Lily's personality, but definitely not Elizabeth's.

Right now, I don't have time for this. I need to go back to my office for my appointment. I'll email her teacher and the nurse later tonight after I have a long chat with my daughter to make them aware of the imp that hides behind the appearance of an adorable little girl. While I drive back to the office I start chatting with Elizabeth, who without realizing tells me that she had to eat broccoli.

As soon as we arrive I ask Elizabeth to stay in my office while I prepare a place for her. James is in a business trip the whole week and his office has a nice couch and a TV. I prepare the couch with pillows and a cover, I put a glass of water and crackers on the coffee table next to the couch, I also put papers and markers in case she decides she wants to draw and I turn on the TV on Elizabeth's favorite show. I ask James' secretary to check on her every so often, and I assure her that as soon as my meeting is over I'll take her home. That's something that I had made plainly clear from the beginning, if Elizabeth needs me, she'll always be my priority, whether the issue is real or fake.

In spite of all the great things about my new job, my feelings about it are still ambivalent. I'm obviously proud of myself. The last years, or better yet, the last half of my life has been dedicated at reaching this goal. Today, in spite of my rocky trajectory, here I am, a lawyer with a great job at the ripe age of 25, almost 26. HL is a major group in the business world. They started as a publishing company but today their portfolio has diversified to include biomedical, food and micro technologies. Being part of that group so early in my career is way beyond any dreams I might have ever had.

So, why the ambivalence? Well, HL stands for Hale Lloyd. Lloyd Hale was Rosalie's ancestor, the founder of HL, don't ask about the switch of the letters' order, no one knows about that. Today, HL remains a family group with Rosalie's father at the head of the empire. So, working for HL means that I'm working for a man that turned his back on his daughter when she needed him the most. I've seen him a couple of times since being here and my main feeling has been disgust.

The Hales have tried to reconnect with Rosalie after she graduated, but she has promised to herself that she'll never forgive them. As she likes to remind them, too little, too late. I have never met anyone as capable of keeping her word as Rosalie, so I don't think her parents could do anything to atone. Mr. Hale has told me how grateful he is to me and my dad for helping his daughter. Why didn't he do it when he had the opportunity?

Rosalie's father asked me to intercede in his favor. Obviously he can't imagine what those years were like. We are very grateful to all the people that helped us but no one really knows all our difficulties. We had enough money to survive but we had to be extremely careful. But the worst was the constant worry over Emmett's life. The days he was back for a visit were a short respite in between long periods of constant worry and fear. It wasn't until he was definitely back that we could finally breathe.

My relationship with Rosalie was cemented by the dark hours we shared. In those difficult times we supported each other. No one, not even Emmett, knows about our desperation and anguish over our future and the future of our girls, my broken heart that has never healed, the long hours at night taking care of the girls when they were sick, the constant fatigue from juggling our roles as students and mothers. For the rest of the world, we were on top of our game, always ready. We knew better. We would have never survived without the other.

If my relationship with the Hale parents is non-existent, I'm very close to the Hale siblings, James and Irina, who have supported and tried to help Rose as much as they could. Of course, my job offer is mainly due to Rosalie. I secured an internship in HL over the summer thanks to James. I met James when Lily turned one. He's only a year younger than Rosalie, same blonde hair and blue eyes. It wasn't until he was free of parental supervision that I met him. He came to visit at the first opportunity which was for Thanksgiving of his freshman year. It also happened to be Lily's birthday. At that time he developed a serious crush on me, but he quickly realized that I wasn't receptive to his advances. Soon after that he met Victoria and the rest's history. He often teases me that I should have married him instead of his red-haired wife and I'd be the princess of the HL kingdom. Vicky knows about the past and is secure in her position, she knows that today our relationship is mostly brother and sister, except when he's being my boss.

It's expected that James will assume the leadership of the group when his father retires. He has been groomed for that position since birth, so his word in HL has a lot of weight. He always told me that he'll hire me once I was done with school. He insisted that it wasn't nepotism because we aren't related and anyway nepotism is accepted in HL, otherwise he wouldn't be second in command so young. I still refused. So he came up with a deal, I'd accept an internship over the summer after graduating and we'd see how things evolved. In the worst case, an internship in HL would be great for my CV. To my surprise, Rosalie pushed for me to accept the offer. I'll never forget that conversation.

"Bella, you should take James' job offer, but if not that, at least you should accept the internship."

"But Rose, it's HL we are talking about."

"I know, it's a great group to work with. I think any of your classmates would take the offer before thinking about it twice."

"It'd mean working for your dad."

"Bella, my dad is a jerk and both of us know that. However, you're the best of your class. HL belongs to my family, not my dad. It belongs to me and my siblings. Once my father retires, James will be in charge. Do you know how difficult it is to find someone that has your back? At that level, almost impossible. I know you consider my brother as yours, and the same way I would never betray him, I know you won't either. And that Bella, has no price."

"What about me looking at the mirror every morning? Knowing that I got the job because of our relationship?"

"You went to all those career fairs and workshops in which they tell you that you want someone to put your CV on top of the pile. This is it. It's your CV that is getting you the job, not me or James. Tell me something, aren't you being called by other companies?" She knows I am, so I don't even answer. "If it was someone else's name on the front page of your CV, wouldn't you agree that the match was perfect?"

"Okay, I see your point. But still."

"Plus, HL is in Seattle. We'll be moving there at the end of the school year, as soon as Emmett is done with med school. You'll be coming with us, that has always been the plan. And you know who else is in Seattle…."

Those last arguments sealed the deal. Our family is in Washington. We had agreed that we'll go back home after we were done with our studies and HL is in Seattle. Rosalie stayed in Stanford waiting for me to be done with school. Therefore, once Emmett was back he also transferred to Stanford to finish med school. Once again, I'm sure it was the name Hale behind the application that made it happen. I might have overheard James on the phone making sure there wouldn't be any problems in admissions, but I'll never confess that to Emmett. The important thing was for us to be reunited. Anyway, Emmett would be done at the end of the year and he had applied for residency in Washington, so we were moving.

But, the fundamental argument Rosalie was referring to was a secret she was the only person aware of. I decided to contact Edward once again. Elizabeth hasn't yet asked about her father, but it'll happen soon enough. I promised to myself that when she was old enough I'd try to bring him to her life whether he wants it or not. I owe it to her and it's what I promised her the day she was born. Therefore a job in Seattle has always been the objective. I know Edward started working last year for his grandfather, so he's back in Seattle. Irina was the one who told us the news. She said that one day in the middle of a conversation without any further comment. Even if we never told her who Elizabeth's father is, I think she knows.

Honestly, my internship was great. I was introduced little by little to the complex world of HL and each time I was challenged, I succeeded. I know that initially my fears were right. Everyone knew of my close relationship with the Hales and that I was a single mother. I think everyone expected me to do a half-assed job. Those people obviously don't know me. There's not much left of the awkward young girl in me. Living with Rosalie has been a major booster for my confidence. Rosalie has decided to become a coach for women in the tough world of corporate America. I was in fact her first client. It's because of me that she realized she could help so many others like me. While she taught me how to dress for the job, our interaction also showed me how to be tough. Because of my past I know that life can be a bitch. But, I've learned that I can be one too, and much worse. By the end of the summer, there were no doubts in anyone's mind whether I deserved a position in the group or not.

Once I'm done preparing James' office, I still have a few minutes to make sure Elizabeth is settled and doesn't need anything before my visitor's arrival. I rush to my office were Elizabeth is sitting on my couch talking to herself. My little girl has a great imagination and is always telling stories to herself. I asked the doctor about that and he assured me it was very normal and not to worry about it.

"Baby, let's go to uncle James' office." Both girls have visited him a few times and they love his office. "You'll be able to lie down and watch TV or draw until I'm done here. I left some crackers in case you get hungry and also papers and markers so you can draw if you get bored. Uncle James will love a beautiful princess for his office. Then, we'll go home and have a conversation about what happened in school. Is that okay?" I ask her while I touch her front to make sure she doesn't have temperature. As expected, she feels normal.

"Yes, mommy." My little devil answers with her most submissive tone, the one she uses when she knows she is in trouble.

"Okay, Honey. James' secretary, you remember that nice lady right? She'll check on you to make sure you are okay. Let's go Eli, as soon as I finish with my meeting I'll take you home. It won't be too long."

Before leaving my office, Elizabeth looks behind my back towards my desk and with her most disarming smile, which is a carbon copy of her father's she waves and says "Nice meeting you Edward. I'll draw a picture for your office while you talk to my mommy."


	15. Chapter 15

**As usual thanks to all of you for your support. You guys are great and I can't say it enough times. Sorry for the delay, I can explain it using one word: work. Bad news, I'm not done yet with the project I'm working on right now and it's taking all my time. I know you have lots of questions after last chapter and I hope you'll find some, not all, answers today.**

Chapter 15

Edward's POV

I'm early. I couldn't avoid it. It was like swimming against the current. No matter how much I tried to delay my arrival, I'm still early, way too early. For once all traffic lights were green, there were no trucks stopped in the middle of the road and no traffic congestions. Of course, having left earlier than planned didn't help either. I decided that I'll walk around a little, but my feet seem to be in a different wavelength than my brain and take me immediately to my destination where I'm directed to her office.

I think I'm going to throw up. I try to take deep breaths hoping to reduce my anxiety level and my heart rate. I'm not sure what I'll say or how she'll react, but this needs to be done. I tried to prepare this meeting as I usually do: lining up arguments, gathering as much information about the subject as possible and trying to have an answer to any possible question; but this is so out of the ordinary I quickly realized there wasn't anything I could do.

I can't believe I'm here. Even a few days ago I would have never imagined that I'd see her soon. Today, after so many years, I'm hopeful. I know that things might and probably will go differently than what I'd like, but at least I'll see her. I'm not expecting things to be easy, but if I'm completely honest I can't avoid being hopeful. I hope one day she'll understand and maybe forgive me. Aside from that, I don't have any other expectations. I tell myself that the best would be if she was able to move on and she's happy, even if deep down I wish she wasn't and she isn't.

My life changed last week when Grandfather called me to his office and told me without preambles that HL had offered a position to Isabella Swan. While I was still trying to process the information, he confessed that he had kept tabs on the advancement of her studies since she entered law school, partly because he always follows the best elements from the best law programs but mainly because of me. He had toyed with the idea of offering her a position in our firm but he decided that she'd never go for it. Plus, working together would be rather uncomfortable if you ask me.

It took me almost a week to get the courage to ask for an appointment. But in all honesty I want to talk to her, even if it's only to say how sorry I am about the end of our relationship. I'd also like to give her some kind of explanation if she's interested. I'm sure she doesn't know my motivation to break up with her and the reasons I gave her that day were shaky at best and definitely a lie. The most difficult part is that she seemed to accept my words without question. I still don't understand how she could after our time together, after I told her that I wanted her forever, and after the thousand times I told her I loved her. I'm certain even that day I told her I loved her before I ripped her heart, and mine with hers. I know she felt I was doing it for me and as usual she was there for me. I mean she consoled me while I hurt her, what's that if it isn't love? But, I was doing it for her and she needs to know that I didn't betray her or our relationship.

I'm hoping that this meeting will help me get some closure. I need to say how sorry I am, and if she needs it, it might also help her. Maybe I'm selfish stirring the pot again after all those years so _I _can feel better. That's what had stopped me at first after I learned she was working for HL. But then I decided that I owe her the truth. I always knew this day would come one day or the other and now I'm sure today is the day.

Her office door is open. I feel a surge of pride when I see her name on the plate to the right of the door knowing that she did it. I had never doubted she was capable but I know by graduation day her motivation was no longer what it was when I met her and my biggest fear was that the part she lost would stop her from achieving her goal. And all because of me. Lost in my thoughts, I step inside the room. Too late I realize I should have knocked, but in my eagerness, I forgot my good manners. The first thing I'll have to say is an apology for making an appointment without disclosing my name or reasons to come and now I'll have to add a second apology for invading her space without knocking. Just great!

Her office is nice. The first thing I see to one side of the room is a big window letting daylight spill inside the room and a grey couch with a little girl sitting on it. I pay little attention to the couch or the girl as I focus my attention on the chair behind the desk where I'm expecting her to be. But the seat is empty. Obviously I'm too early and she isn't expecting me yet. I'll have to wait and I don't know if that's a good thing because it'll give me time to calm down or if I'm only going to get more anxious. What's the point of having spent so much time in front of the mirror if I'll be a sweating mess by the time she sees me? I have to relax.

In the meanwhile, I look for pictures on her desk. I want to see what she looks like after all these years and maybe who the important people in her life are. But it's obvious that the office has been recently given to her since there aren't any personal items on her desk or on the walls. In fact, I'm not really surprised as I don't think she's the kind of person to bring her personal life to her workplace. There's nothing I can do but wait. I hesitate a few moments between waiting here or getting out of the office and waiting outside. At the end I decide to sit on one of the chairs in front of her desk. I don't want to cross paths with her while it looks like I changed my mind and I'm leaving.

I'm startled when a small voice asks "Who are you?"

I look behind me and I see the little girl sitting on the couch looking at me. I realize that while I searched for cues around the room I had forgotten about her.

"I'm Edward." I answer simply while I study her. There's something about her that rings an alarm in my head but I can't see why. Later I'll realize that if I hadn't been so nervous it'd have been obvious, just a matter of putting together where we were and her looks. But not yet.

She smiles infectiously "Cool, my dad's name is Edward also."

I can't avoid watching her. She's wearing jeans, a girly t-shirt and sneakers with lots of pink and sparkles. Really, nothing out of the ordinary, but it's her face that has me mesmerized. She has red-blondish hair, the same color I had when I was a kid if I trust the collection of pictures Esme has around her house. She also has green eyes. I could see at least one missing tooth when she smiled which only added to her charm.

Once again my attention is jolted when I hear my name. "Edward." When she's sure she has all my attention she continues "Do you like veggies?"

I'm immediately amused by that question. Among the plethora of topics she could have chosen to discuss with me that one is far from the top of the 'most common discussion questions when you meet a stranger' list. It's also a question that brings so many souvenirs, good souvenirs. I can't avoid a small laugh and with a grin I confess, "Not really, but I'm getting the hang of them. Do you like them?" I think I can guess the answer to that question just based on the face she made when she said the word veggie.

"Yuck, no. Some of them are worse than others. I like potatoes, any kind of potatoes, but my mom says those don't count. Sometimes I also like carrots, but anything green is bad."

"I agree with you, but your mom's right."

She remains silent for a few moments while I turn my attention to my thoughts about another girl forcing vegetable upon vegetable on me during lunch at Forks' High cafeteria.

Then suddenly in a small voice she says "I think I'm in trouble."

"Why?"

"I told my teacher my tummy was hurting because I had to eat broccoli for lunch. They called my mom and she had to go pick me up."

"You can't be in trouble for being sick." While I talk to this little girl I can finally relax, even if I can't shake the impression that there's something I'm not seeing about this kid. My anxiety is gone and I can think once again. Now I'm calm and ready for the conversation that I came to have. Thinking again about those days and in particular about all those times we had a 'fight' over salad or cucumbers is a great way to remind me why I'm here.

"I know, but I'm not sick. I was just pretending and my mommy knows. I don't know how she does it, but she always knows everything."

"I know what you're talking about. My mom always knows everything. I think it's a special power mothers have. Even when you grow up, moms still know better."

"She also has a special mommy voice when I'm in trouble. And normally she calls me Eli, but when she calls me Elizabeth I know that I messed up. And I mess up a lot, particularly when I'm playing with my uncle Emmett. Today she called me Elizabeth when she went to pick me up, so I think I'll be grounded. At least she didn't say my full name, so maybe it won't be too bad. I hope she'll let me go to Aunt Rose's house to play with Lily. Lily is my sister-cousin, she's never in trouble and I'm not sure how she manages it. We are making a princess castle in her bedroom. You should see it, it's great. We used the moving boxes. We have to finish decorating it. It has lots of pink and purple, but I think we need to add more sparkling. According to Uncle Emmett you can never have enough sparkling."

Her mind has obviously switched gears from her veggies-eating adventures to princess land as she continues chatting away but I stopped hearing when she said her name was Elizabeth. That was the final trigger, like a bucket of cold water that cleared my brain. I finally realize that I'm in Bella's office, there's a girl that can't be more than seven or eight years old sitting on her couch in her office, who has what now I realize are my eyes and hair but Bella's face and is named Elizabeth. That's the name we had chosen for our daughter. My ears start ringing and I can only think 'Anything but that'. It's suddenly clear that I was prepared for anything, but not that.


End file.
